Things you'd like to say, but can't

[raleighnut]

"Look, I just want my car keys so I can go home!" - no, not one of those parties that you read about in the Sunday papers, just the car has been in the main dealer for a warranty 'repair'.

Except I knew when I booked it in that they wouldn't have the part and would have to order it, so I offered to pop the car in, they could send a technician out to verify the fault and order the part for me to book in when it arrived.
But no, that wasn't possible. They'd need the car for a full day so they could carry out all manner of 'complimentary' safety checks followed by a complimentary wash n vac. Because they insisted on having the car all day I had to have a courtesy car, which will have cost them, the dealer, money.
I didn't ask for an emailed link to a video of my car on the ramp showing what you (hadn't) done, but I got one anyway.

Then you phoned me mid-afternoon to say that you'd identified the fault but would need to order a part

Funnily enough the fault was exactly what I'd said and something that could have been confirmed in 2 minutes.
Then when I arrived to collect the car, what should have taken 2 minutes - "Hello Northern Dave - here are your keys, we'll give you a call when the part is here and book you in" took nearly half an hour as we went through the safety check sheet (nothing found, unsurprisingly on a car that isn't yet 3 years old...) and insisted on booking me in again FOR ANOTHER FULL DAY to do a job which is going to take 30 minutes tops, even though you haven't got the part in stock yet.

Me - I don't mind waiting here and having a complimentary coffee in your executive customer lounge while you fit the part.
Him - Oh, we can't do that as we don't know how long it will take.
Me - It will take half an hour, I've checked
Him - Well it could take longer and then we've got to do the safety checks and give the car a complimentary wash....
Me -

But I said nowt and stayed polite as it isn't the young lad on the desks fault that some numpty at head office makes him follow exactly the same process with every customer regardless of whether it is appropriate or not. It does make you wonder how they make any money though...

Warranty work, the dealer charges the manufacturer/importer for the work done and it has a 'book' time/cost for the job.

 

[Profpointy]

Warranty work, the dealer charges the manufacturer/importer for the work done and it has a 'book' time/cost for the job.

Having twice bought brand new vehicles you almost look forward to the end of the warranty so you can get it mended by someone else of your own choosing.

 

[NorthernDave]

Having twice bought brand new vehicles you almost look forward to the end of the warranty so you can get it mended by someone else of your own choosing.

Yep - warranty expires in April, then it will be off to the independent specialist I've used for over a decade.

 

[TVC]

"Look, I just want my car keys so I can go home!" - no, not one of those parties that you read about in the Sunday papers, just the car has been in the main dealer for a warranty 'repair'.

Except I knew when I booked it in that they wouldn't have the part and would have to order it, so I offered to pop the car in, they could send a technician out to verify the fault and order the part for me to book in when it arrived.
But no, that wasn't possible. They'd need the car for a full day so they could carry out all manner of 'complimentary' safety checks followed by a complimentary wash n vac. Because they insisted on having the car all day I had to have a courtesy car, which will have cost them, the dealer, money.
I didn't ask for an emailed link to a video of my car on the ramp showing what you (hadn't) done, but I got one anyway.

Then you phoned me mid-afternoon to say that you'd identified the fault but would need to order a part

Funnily enough the fault was exactly what I'd said and something that could have been confirmed in 2 minutes.
Then when I arrived to collect the car, what should have taken 2 minutes - "Hello Northern Dave - here are your keys, we'll give you a call when the part is here and book you in" took nearly half an hour as we went through the safety check sheet (nothing found, unsurprisingly on a car that isn't yet 3 years old...) and insisted on booking me in again FOR ANOTHER FULL DAY to do a job which is going to take 30 minutes tops, even though you haven't got the part in stock yet.

Me - I don't mind waiting here and having a complimentary coffee in your executive customer lounge while you fit the part.
Him - Oh, we can't do that as we don't know how long it will take.
Me - It will take half an hour, I've checked
Him - Well it could take longer and then we've got to do the safety checks and give the car a complimentary wash....
Me -

But I said nowt and stayed polite as it isn't the young lad on the desks fault that some numpty at head office makes him follow exactly the same process with every customer regardless of whether it is appropriate or not. It does make you wonder how they make any money though...

I had mine in for a warrenty job, I got the courtesy car and took the attitude 'you keep it as long as you want, I'm putting miles on your car'. I was due to collect mine on Friday afternoon but they rang me to say that they hadn't quite finished. No problem I drove to Yorkshire to see Wilko Johnson that weekend, driving the scenic backroads that I would think twice about taking my suspension over and putting 300 miles on it. Coutesy cars are for doing the jobs you wouldn't do in your own car, they're on a par with hire cars.

 

[Spinney]

Epson, you pile of money-grabbing bastards. First you set up your printers so that the 'compatible' cartridges often don't work. Then the bloody thing rejects a genuine (i.e. more expensive) black cartridge. Then when faffing about reinstalling that one again, and I think it finally accepted it, the damn printer decides that the cyan ink is empty. But I don't want to print colour, I only want to print black and white. But is there an option for that? Oh, no. I have to buy a new cyan cartridge before I can see if it will work again to print black only.

And the same rant probably applies to all the other printer manufacturers.

 

[Salad Dodger]

Our Epson S425x seems to work OK on non genuine cartridges. Long may this continue - especially as I have just ordered 16 more "lookalike" cartridges off eBay......

 

[byegad]

So you demanded a divorce, lost your attempt to screw him over on the money side but still get paid nearly as much child support from him as I have income. Now you want to control what he does on the one weekend out of two he sees your daughter.

What a farking bastard bitch you turned out to be.

 

[RoubaixCube]

So let me get this straight....

You used OUR cashpoint machines outside, received YOUR money which given the amount of complaints ive had about the machines not dispensing cash after people have entered the amount they want in you still want to stand there and moan for 15mins and make a thing of how it takes 'twenty years to print out a receipt'

Customer: There's something wrong with the cash machine outside, Its taking 20 years to print a receipt -- It needs fixing
Me: The most important thing is, did you receive your cash?
Customer: Yes, Yes i did...
Me: Then you should count yourself lucky, A lot of people who use the machines dont always receive their cash.
Customer: No, theres something wrong with the machine and you need to call whoever is responsible to have it looked at.
Me: In that case sir, If you would like to make a complaint, Please go to customer services and speak to a man called <xxxxxxx> and he will log your complaint and contact the right people.
Customer: No, Thats what what i want...
Me: Theres nothing i can do to help you sir, I cant open one of these machines up and fix it or print you a new receipt, I have directed to you a supervisor who will log your complaint is there anything else I can help you with?
---Customer storms off while mumbling under his breath about me wasting his time---

Well arent you a self entitled bastard. Cashpoint not printing out your receipt? oh diddums.... The most important thing is you got your cash! Take your money and go about your business rather then whining.

 

[swee'pea99]

Warranty work, the dealer charges the manufacturer/importer for the work done and it has a 'book' time/cost for the job.

My sister's boyfriend used to work for a Ford main dealer in the middle of town. One of their favourite jobs was a 'spit service' - that's the one where you turn the engine on to confirm that everything seems to be fine, then raise the bonnet, spit on the engine, close the bonnet and do the paperwork. He and his colleagues were routinely paid for 100+ hours a week, though everyone knew they turned up at 10 and went down the pub early. No-one cared. Everyone was making money. (I should add that this was thirty years ago, that dealership has long since closed down, and I'm sure that sort of thing no longer happens. For sure. Un-hunh.)

 

[Profpointy]

My sister's boyfriend used to work for a Ford main dealer in the middle of town. One of their favourite jobs was a 'spit service' - that's the one where you turn the engine on to confirm that everything seems to be fine, then raise the bonnet, spit on the engine, close the bonnet and do the paperwork. He and his colleagues were routinely paid for 100+ hours a week, though everyone knew they turned up at 10 and went down the pub early. No-one cared. Everyone was making money. (I should add that this was thirty years ago, that dealership has long since closed down, and I'm sure that sort of thing no longer happens. For sure. Un-hunh.)

Our company van used to have that. We moaned about it to the works manager but he just shrugged. To be fair I think he just lazily accepted that was how things were rather than getting a kickback. Taking my own car to a dealer wasn't much better back in the day either

 

[Speicher]

I answered your "question" and clarified what I meant.

You then starting arguing with me that my response was not correct. You should know me well enough to realise that I do not pretend to have knowledge that, in reality, I do not possess. Furthermore, you should also know that this is a subject that I am very interested in, and have a good memory for the nuances of this subject.

Okay peeps, you want to know what this "argument" was about?

I was asked, well told, really, that there was a main railway line running south from Kandersteg (in Switzerland) into Italy. Well, in my estimation, it is not a mainline. That is because I have travelled (twice) on the line from Domodosola to Locarno, and it is a very windy, steep line called the Centrovalli. Main lines are not "main lines" just because they have a train running in each direction at hourly intervals. Fast "main line" trains will be running further east via Bellinzona.

It is not so much about a railway line, but being told that I am "making things up as I go along".

* goes off to check these facts in my European Timetable *

 

[Speicher]

Even if I am wrong not entirely correct, you are not getting an apology.

 

[ColinJ]

It is not so much about a railway line, but being told that I am "making things up as I go along".

My ex still insists that I once told her that there are more grains of sand on a typical beach than there are atoms in the universe. Given that I know what atoms are and that every grain of sand is made up of lots of atoms, I consider that EXTREMELY unlikely ... She told me that it was because I made things up as I went along. I don't think so!

 

[classic33]

So let me get this straight....

You used OUR cashpoint machines outside, received YOUR money which given the amount of complaints ive had about the machines not dispensing cash after people have entered the amount they want in you still want to stand there and moan for 15mins and make a thing of how it takes 'twenty years to print out a receipt'

Customer: There's something wrong with the cash machine outside, Its taking 20 years to print a receipt -- It needs fixing
Me: The most important thing is, did you receive your cash?
Customer: Yes, Yes i did...
Me: Then you should count yourself lucky, A lot of people who use the machines dont always receive their cash.
Customer: No, theres something wrong with the machine and you need to call whoever is responsible to have it looked at.
Me: In that case sir, If you would like to make a complaint, Please go to customer services and speak to a man called <xxxxxxx> and he will log your complaint and contact the right people.
Customer: No, Thats what what i want...
Me: Theres nothing i can do to help you sir, I cant open one of these machines up and fix it or print you a new receipt, I have directed to you a supervisor who will log your complaint is there anything else I can help you with?
---Customer storms off while mumbling under his breath about me wasting his time---

Well arent you a self entitled bastard. Cashpoint not printing out your receipt? oh diddums.... The most important thing is you got your cash! Take your money and go about your business rather then whining.

N.W.?

 

[NorthernDave]

So let me get this straight....
You used OUR cashpoint machines outside, received YOUR money which given the amount of complaints ive had about the machines not dispensing cash after people have entered the amount they want in you still want to stand there and moan for 15mins and make a thing of how it takes 'twenty years to print out a receipt'
Customer: There's something wrong with the cash machine outside, Its taking 20 years to print a receipt -- It needs fixing
Me: The most important thing is, did you receive your cash?
Customer: Yes, Yes i did...
Me: Then you should count yourself lucky, A lot of people who use the machines dont always receive their cash.
Customer: No, theres something wrong with the machine and you need to call whoever is responsible to have it looked at.
Me: In that case sir, If you would like to make a complaint, Please go to customer services and speak to a man called <xxxxxxx> and he will log your complaint and contact the right people.
Customer: No, Thats what what i want...
Me: Theres nothing i can do to help you sir, I cant open one of these machines up and fix it or print you a new receipt, I have directed to you a supervisor who will log your complaint is there anything else I can help you with?
---Customer storms off while mumbling under his breath about me wasting his time---

Well arent you a self entitled bastard. Cashpoint not printing out your receipt? oh diddums.... The most important thing is you got your cash! Take your money and go about your business rather then whining.

To be fair, if he genuinely had been waiting since 1997 (the year New Labour swept to power and Channel 5 was launched) for a receipt he's probably entitled to be a bit ticked off...