Stress

[piedwagtail91]

i can second the dorothy rowe book i read it many years ago.
the drugs side of things hasn't worked for me. i've been on dothiepin ,a tricyclic for almost 24 years.
i tried the ssri's but didn't get on with them.
tried two lots of work therapy but ended up suicidal.
this was after a simple accident in a joiners shop where my hand went into a spindle moulder and nearly ripped a couple of fingers off.
because i've always tried to help myself through excercise ( which helps with the stress and depression) and trying to work (i spent almost all my compen on it), i've missed out somewhere,
it's only in the last few weeks that i've managed to get some help with the counselling side of things, or rather i've had an interview to see if i can have another interview to get some cbt, or some such stuff, that could be another 6 months off.
in the meantime my doctor can't understand it when i say 150mg of drugs is too much for me to take to ride in a group safely because my reactions are too slow, i want to cut down to 100 which is just aboutok, but she wants me to stay at 150 and take sleeping pills as well.
they can only deal with couch potatoes who wouldn't know or care what they are on.
mental health services in our area are bloody hopeless.

 

[trio25]

because i've always tried to help myself through excercise ( which helps with the stress and depression) and trying to work (i spent almost all my compen on it), i've missed out somewhere,
it's only in the last few weeks that i've managed to get some help with the counselling side of things, or rather i've had an interview to see if i can have another interview to get some cbt, or some such stuff, that could be another 6 months off.
in the meantime my doctor can't understand it when i say 150mg of drugs is too much for me to take to ride in a group safely because my reactions are too slow, i want to cut down to 100 which is just aboutok, but she wants me to stay at 150 and take sleeping pills as well.
they can only deal with couch potatoes who wouldn't know or care what they are on.
mental health services in our area are bloody hopeless.

I've only recently been diagnosed with depression and for me the drugs are helping. But I am lucky my Doctor does understand the importance of exercise and has been encouraging me to use the time off work to get out on my bike. Problem at the moment is motivation to get out and about.

 

[Fab Foodie]

Hi col.
Firstly it's great that you feel you can come here and talk about how you are feeling. Secondly I hope you are comforted by others who are or who have been in the same boat,so you're not a freak or a nutter or a looser, you're just a human being that needs a bit of repair. Also as Admin says, there is a very real chemical side to this with the Seratonin levels, so it's not all in the mind.
My own struggle reflects those of others here, I had pretty much burn't out through unfortunate redundancies leading to taking demanding and unsuitable jobs to keep the family afloat, unbeknown to my I had CHD and my ever restricting arteries were slowing me down until a rather alarming wake-up call and an ambulance ride. Whilst becoming depressed due to the struggle with work,the shockof my heart conditions really took me down. I also had to quit the ciggs, my main crutch when times got tough. However I recovered, went back to work and was told politely that I really wasn't up to the job,at which point my world crumbled...
To get to the point, Mrs FF got me to go to the docs and I went onto Fluoxetine and some other stuff and got counselling.
For maybe 2 to 3 months I lived in my little goldfish bowl, comfortably numb, detached to the world around me...I cycled a bit, spent time on C+, tried to do a bit of my job, tried to find a new career, tried to get myself together...and slowly I did, after months of not giving a damn, slowly but surely the drugs did their work and I started to come back to life.
By the 4th month I simply quit the drugs. 2 months later I was being interviewed for a new job..I got it and my recovery has continued.

The thing is it takes time to get through depression, it can't be rushed or hurried along, it's different for different people (even though there is much commonality of feelings/symptoms). But it can be beaten and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Whilst the drugs helped my physical recovery, the counselling helped me understand what drives my emotions and how to identify and deal with "issues" in a better way.

col, many of us know how you feel and are happy to listen to you and if useful share our experience. You are not alone.

 

[bonj2]

I am a qualified psychiatric nurse, since 1989, I currently work for a drug company and am in my 2nd year of a counselling diploma

I thought thou were une driveur d'autobus?

 

[col]

I thought thou were une driveur d'autobus?

No, i copied a post,which was maggots, to start this thread with,it was pointed out to me that i omitted to say who's post i had copied,so iv rectified it,if you have another look,sorry for the confusion.

 

[Noodley]

Re employers: I have recently been promoted (two weeks ago) and since then I have been visited by all but one of my staff (not actually how I would normally refer to them, but for ease of understanding I'll use "my staff") re problems they have with work and/or "other stuff", most of it really "serious". I hope I have dealt with it appropriately, and I have tried to send out a "take time off, as long as is needed, no really I mean it. I know you may find some comfort/support from coming into work and that is fine, but it's up to you" message. I know some people don't want time off, but others need to hear it's fine to do so. And hear it as a genuine message. I have contacted my staff when they have been off and all of them have said they are grateful for my support, and do not feel I am phoning to "check up" but rather to offer support and to reassure them. Confidentiality is also an issue with these maters, and I have made it clear there are some procedures I must follow but that otherwise I shall only pass on information which is pertinent to others and with their permission.

Turns out these staff have been holding onto this for ages (sometimes years) and never thought they would be listened to by the former team leader so just kept going. I suppose it's good they feel they can come to me. I used to work in the same room as them for 2 years as a colleague, and I knew there were "issues" but not to the extent which I have subsequently been made aware of, so I can see it is a big issue for them to be able to come to me as a manager and "offload". There have been many, many tears shed in the past 2 weeks. I hope they all find the right level of support from whatever source.

 

[mickle]

A lovely and quite remarkable thread, the warmest and most supportive bunch of virtual friends I am ever likely to meet.

To those of you living with depression I wish you all the very best.

Virtual group hug anyone?

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

On the issue of addiction to AD meds.

All the docs I have spoken to say they are non addictive. I disagree. My experience has been that the pills keep me 'up', when I stop them (wind down then stop) there is a period of about a week or two when I am thinkng ..."cool...I can deal with stuff..I've cracke dit and I'm ok"....but then things deteriorate. Sometimes I dont even notice it myself until my family ask if I've stopped taking the pills. My behaviour changes for the worse and eventually I can deny it no longer and have to revert back to the pills. This is what happened over th elast few weeks for me, and I have just started re taking the bloody pills ( ihate them) again yesterday after two weeks of thinking I had cracked it without them. One of the outward signs is wild mood swings and aggressive language, body language etc brought on by stressful situations, the pills reduce these. Coping with stress is a problem for me, and even small amounts like yesterdays christmas shopping trip will cause a serious downturn in my mood and often aggressive outbursts,,,i.e lot's of shouting and yelling and blaming etc

Ok, th edocs probably have some science that shows that technically the pills are not addictive (like say heroin or nicotine) but like I said, I've been on them over ten years and I still cannot really function well without them. So to my mind that is a kind of addiction.

I think there should be a law that restricts how easily Docs can prescribe these pills. There is much to be said for the exercise and diet thing first.

Another thing. I find it hard to take good/any decisions on these pills. Important life decisions should be avoided whilst under the effects of these pills. Just because somebody seems to function better to outsiders whilst on th epills does not mean they are better. The test is if they can function well without the pills.

Anothe rissue is what I have been told is obsessive compulsive behaviour, which th e docs say is th eillness but I believe is a side effect of the medication. I will latch onto one thing and blitz it, like a blinkered racehorse, oblivious of anything else,,,,kind of like a high degree of focus, which has been good at times (like my cycling) but can be seen as really odd by the 'normal' people.

 

[piedwagtail91]

On the issue of addiction to AD meds.

All the docs I have spoken to say they are non addictive. I disagree. quote]


i agree with that, although it feels like they are when you're trying to get off them no matter how slowly you cut down.

 

[Elmer Fudd]

What are you taking EF? any side effects/how long?

Thanks for the links jim

Venlafaxine 150mg, one of the weaker ones I believe, although I've never bothered to do a search as ignorance is bliss as they say.
One thing I do know is that they have affected me in the libido department but one good side effect of the tablets is that you don't give a feck !! (literally or figuratively !).

The first major side effect I did notice was the light headedness if you stood up quick (Moi? quick? Never!!). This wears off / you become "settled in" with your tablets, so take it steady to begin with.
I ended up missing the last 6wks of decent cycling weather this year due to the dizzy spells I was going through, didn't want to risk a near blackout cycling down the main Rd. etc..

Others have mentioned Seratonin in this thread, the brains own happy drug, which has also been explained to me the same, the levels drop to a certain level and are unable to recover on their own.

I'm sure I would be teaching my granny to suck eggs by saying this but I will, bananas are crammed full of the stuff so I'm now stuffing those down me neck as an alcohol substitute instead of SWMBO choccy stash !

Hang on in there col, support on here is great, it's like having a room full of your own personal therapists, Everyone who has responded to my posts on personal issues has given me support and made me feel better by just reading their replies.

P.S. col, you should've posted this in café, not soapbox as you're not ranting 'bout something !

 

[marinyork]

There are some amazingly warm posts here. I'm particularly impressed by Noodley's post as I have started a new job a month ago and there is someone off on long term sick (who I'm filling in for) who if gossip is to believed is off on some kind of stress/depression area related issue and though I don't know the guy is constantly having the piss taken out of him by other workers and to a much lesser extent, the boss.

 

[Speicher]

On the issue of addiction to AD meds.

Anothe rissue is what I have been told is obsessive compulsive behaviour, which th e docs say is th eillness but I believe is a side effect of the medication. I will latch onto one thing and blitz it, like a blinkered racehorse, oblivious of anything else,,,,kind of like a high degree of focus, which has been good at times (like my cycling) but can be seen as really odd by the 'normal' people.

That happened to me when taking a tri-cyclic AD. The Docs insisted it was part of the illness and not a side-effect, and then what did they suggest - increase the medication. and then add more, and stronger medication as well. I refused to go on such a high dose the second time around, which he eventually agreed with. I am now on a very very low dose, and will stop taking it soon I hope.

I think that the important thing to try and do, (and I know it is not easy) is to try to find a way of dealing with the causes of the stress. Relatives who thought I was "getting better" have been surprised that I WILL NOT return to doing as much as I was before this all started. They have also been offended when I reject their advice. I mistakenly thought that "advice" was something you could take if you wished to, and that you could choose whose advice you might take. If it does not suit me to set my alarm and go to the gym at 6am, then they should not have been surprised when I declined their "Kind" advice. When I was absolutely at my lowest point, which coincided with my Sister-in-law's birthday party, I should not have been put under so much "pressure" to believe that what I "needed" to do, was to get out more , ie go to her party. I fell in with her demands, and that turned out to be the last straw.

 

[piedwagtail91]

When I was absolutely at my lowest point, which coincided with my Sister-in-law's birthday party, I should not have been put under so much "pressure" to believe that what I "needed" to do, was to get out more !, ie go to her party. I fell in with her demands, and that turned out to be the last straw.

i think the dorothy rowe book (i may be wrong) says don't do things that you really don't want to do just to please others as it will do you no good.
i've spent the last few weeks dreaming up excuses to miss all 4 cycling club christmas do's
not because i was being a "funny bugger" as some thought but because i don't have the willpower to "put the mask on" and pretend i'm enjoying it when inside it's killing me.it would have done me no good and probably have spoilt it for the others.
i'm trying to save as much as i can for the family christmas, which i want to make an effort for.

i've been before to the dinners and sort of enjoyed it and i'll go again when things improve but at the moment ,no thanks.

 

[Fab Foodie]

I found coming of the medication relatively easy when I was ready. My decision point came when I realsied the medication was preventing me from doing the things I wanted to get done...I guess I had "recovered" sufficiently to want to start rebuilding my life, whereas in the early weeks I just wanted to curl-up in a little ball in the corner.

I strongly agree with those who mention doing things differently when they're recovering. This is whetre the counselling helped me as it identified areas of internal conflict and I could figure ways to avoid them. Removing sources of stress IS a major part of recovery, If you camn't do this I think the path will be long. In my case the forced need to find new employment gave me the opportunity to realy find the right job even though it was a backward step career development wise, but hell, I'm much happier and much more succesful doing what I do best rather than trying to do new and better things. It's a hard lesson to learn though.

 

[col]

Its certainly an eye opener this thread,thanks to you all for being so honest,and its helping too.