Riddles and Puzzles

[Shut Up Legs]

I Am
I have no voice yet I speak to you, I tell of all things in the world that people do. I have leaves, but I am not a tree, I have pages, but I am not a bride. I have a spine and hinges but I am not a man or a door, I have told you all I cannot tell you more.
What am I?

A book.

 

[Shut Up Legs]

Barmy Sheep
A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die.
How many are left?

17.

 

[AndyPeace]

There Was A Man
There was a man who killed his mother, was born before his father and married over 100 women without divorcing.
Yet he was considered normal by all who knew him.
How?

His mum died durring giving birth, were his dad was there (right before him). The man became a priest and the rest is (google) history.

 

[classic33]

His mum died durring giving birth, were his dad was there (right before him). The man became a priest and the rest is (google) history.

At least you were honest about it.

 

[classic33]

17.

No.

 

[jefmcg]

Trip To The Chemist
A man walks into a Chemist looking a little embarrassed. He whispers something into the chemist's ear. The chemist then pulls out his gun and points it at the man. The man smiles, thanks the chemist and walks away.
What did the man say to the chemist?

I've got hiccups

 

[jefmcg]

Apples
How many apples would you have if you took two apples from three apples?

2

 

[jefmcg]

A Load Of Bull
If a Mummy Bull, Daddy Bull, and Baby Bull are in the field and Baby Bull gets scared, who would he run to?

a mummy bull is a cow.

 

[jefmcg]

Three Fat Ladies
Three fat ladies stood under an umbrella but none of them got wet.
Why?

it's not raining

 

[jefmcg]

Multiple Choice Part II
1. The answer to Question 2 is:
A. B
B. A
C. D
D. C

2. The answer to Question 3 is:
A. C
B. D
C. B
D. A

3. The answer to Question 4 is:
A. D
B. A
C. C
D. B

4. The answer to Question 1 is:
A. D
B. C
C. A
D. B

D C B A

 

[Boo]

Barmy Sheep
A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die.
How many are left?

If all but 9 die, then I'm guessing it's probably... 9!

 

[Boo]

Three Houses
There are three houses one is red one is blue band one is white. If the red house is to the left of the house in the middle and the blue house is to the right to the house in the middle where is the white house?

1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington.

 

[mr_cellophane]

A Question Of Toast
What do you put in a toaster?

Hot Cross buns this week

 

[guitarpete247]

Weighty Question.
A man was at a fair and went to a booth where the woman said to him, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me £50, but if I cannot, I will pay you £50." The man looks around and seeing no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the woman writes he'll just say he weighs more or less.
In the end he ended up paying the man £50. How did the man win the bet?.

She wrote "meat" on the paper as he was obviously a butcher. Either that or she wrote "15 minutes" and kept him hanging about for quarter of an hour before giving it to him.

 

[jefmcg]

Weighty Question.
A man was at a fair and went to a booth where the woman said to him, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me £50, but if I cannot, I will pay you £50." The man looks around and seeing no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the woman writes he'll just say he weighs more or less.
In the end he ended up paying the man £50. How did the man win the bet?

She wrote down "your exact weight" on the piece of paper.

Except it says that the man won the bet. Presumably by using his brilliant strategy of saying "no, that's not my weight"

Oh, and the woman had a miraculous sex change in the second last sentence.