jongooligan
Legendary Member
- Location
- Behind bars
"Ellon Musk, I'm such a fanboy."
Red flags with people?
- Thread starter Blue Hills
- Start date
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OP
OP
- Location
- London
must say that's the way I had read it.
glad all cleared up nicely.
Ah, ok, I kinda do like Elon Musk though. Sure, he's bit weird and has the knack of upsetting with his words, also perhaps a singular understanding of things - but certainly an innovator and visionary. He has Asperger's syndrome I believe, that might explain the perception of "weirdness" I actually think we need people like him.
ebikeerwidnes
Guru
- Location
- Z’ha’dum
One thing I find is that someone who ALWAYS turns up late to things that have a specific start time - are probably people worth avoiding.
Not always - but it is a flag.
I read an article many years ago from a psychologist who said that a lot of people like this are after attention.
Basically, if there is an event that starts at x o'clock then most people will arrive a bit early - maybe coffee is available - and mill around and chat.
Then everyone goes through and sits down
then the always late person turns up just after everyone has sat down.
everyone turns round and looks - they get to apologise and explain and people sympathise and all that
so they get a load of attention.
OK it is a bit negative - but it is still attention. And. according to the psychologist, if they are female then they get a lot of sympathy as well if they can blame kids, husband and all that stuff
That sort of person is worth avoiding!
When I read that I looked at my partner (now ex - thank the Gods) and realised that was exactly what she always did!!
Not always - but it is a flag.
I read an article many years ago from a psychologist who said that a lot of people like this are after attention.
Basically, if there is an event that starts at x o'clock then most people will arrive a bit early - maybe coffee is available - and mill around and chat.
Then everyone goes through and sits down
then the always late person turns up just after everyone has sat down.
everyone turns round and looks - they get to apologise and explain and people sympathise and all that
so they get a load of attention.
OK it is a bit negative - but it is still attention. And. according to the psychologist, if they are female then they get a lot of sympathy as well if they can blame kids, husband and all that stuff
That sort of person is worth avoiding!
When I read that I looked at my partner (now ex - thank the Gods) and realised that was exactly what she always did!!
OP
OP
- Location
- London
I used to know someone very well like this. More than often being late, there were also very regular wierd misunderstandings about where he had been supposed to meet people. He'd turn up supposedly round the corner from where we were to meet and then we'd sometimes meet up as if by chance later to be regaled with the tale. But in the meantime we had all been kept waiting. Sometimes didn't turn up at all. Lots of other "misunderstandings". The crowd I hung around with found it quite charming and delighted in telling these strange strange tales. A right old drag when we were a group but the evening went ahead. Eventually he did it to me when there was just the two of us meeting up. Second or third time he did this (i was left standing in the damn street) I just decided to cut him off. Wasn't interested in meeting him at all, in a group or otherwise. I wasn't interested in the tales. Definitely attention seeking. Some sort of inferiority thing.
I think you might be right.
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
#1: talk, talk, talk, no listen. I have a 'friend' like this who hasn't yet picked up on numerous hints that 'we're done', as far as I'm concerned. He doesn't talk to people; he talks at them. At great length. Invariably in ways that show just how smart he is/how dumb other people are.
OP
OP
- Location
- London
did you ever try to answer/pick up on a point?
If so were you by chance accused of interrupting them/trying to "silence" them?
I have an uncle like that. I just can't listen to him any more. He's an expert on all subjects and just talks over you and rubbishes your viewpoint even when you can demonstrate and prove he is talking nonsense.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
This raises a red flag with me
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
Yes, and no.
I have on occasion (we've been 'friends', with more or less quote marks, for what 20 years?) spotted openings in the incessant flow of me me me to contribute something relevant and amusing of my own, but he doesn't protest, or even respond; there's just a brief pause, and then off he goes on another 20 minute monologue.
derrick
The Glue that binds us together.
- Location
- On the edge of London
matticus
Guru
Or
"Were you reading CycleChat last night? Great wasn't it?!"
Kingfisher101
Veteran
Well why don't you say its your round Fred or whatever?We have some in our club like that.
I think with people going on too long it can be anxiety or loneliness as well. I'd be tolerant of that as opposite to some gobshite like my neighbour.
If someone is always late they are saying my time is more important than yours etc. I only will wait 10 minutes anyway for someone then I'm off.
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