Odd factoids

[Drago]

Human League was originally a football league for homo sapiens that excluded neanderthals.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Homo sapiens is the technical term for pine trees that pine for other pines of the same gender.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

The "dud pandas" in Edinburgh Zoo, which were procured as part of an unsuccessful breeding programme, were not real pandas. "Sunshine" and "Sweetie" were actually two people from Wester Hailes, dressed up.

The male panda, "Sunshine", was a local lad called Angus McDonald. He said "I was offered this job ten years ago. The money wasn't very good, but they supplied a bed, as much bamboo as I could eat, and promised me pretty much unlimited sex with Sweetie. Who could refuse an offer like that?".

Sweetie, once known as Morag McSporran, said "All I had to do was wear the panda suit for 10 years. Sunshine was a nice guy, I suppose, but I just didn't fancy him. And he had bad breath and sweaty armpits".

Angus and Morag are now unemployed, although they expect to find new employment at Blair Drummond Safari Park in the springtime, when the new "orang utangs" go on public display.

I saw an after-dinner speaker years ago, very much in the Chic Murray mould. The pandas were in the news at the time, mainly because they couldn't get them to breed.

"Have they thought about putting them on benefits" he quipped.

 

[Drago]

F1 gobbledegook fountain, Murray Walker, never ate Murray Mints and never once walked anywhere. In his latter years Martin Brundle wheeled him from race to race in a sack barrow.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Weather was invented to give Brits something to talk about. Before the Brits moved from France to an island off the coast, weather didn’t exist.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

The lathe was invented in Swarfedale, North Yorkshire.

 

[T4tomo]

Prostitution was invented in nearby Wensleydale, in the town of Hawes.

the cheese was a byproduct

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Nearby Aysgirth was where the Yorkshire made to measure condom was invented by a couple of farmers.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Prostitution was invented in nearby Wensleydale, in the town of Hawes.

the cheese was a byproduct

As was Ley-burn

 

[Ming the Merciless]

The women used to go to a stream below a bridge to give birth. Hence the name Bairnbridge, now shortened to Bainbridge to reflect the local dialect.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

It's well know that Danish King Knut was the last King of Denmark and England.

What's less well known is that he also rules the whole of South America, and named his first-born son "Brazil".

 

[raleighnut]

Knutsford is wrongly named cos he actually drove a Volvo

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Peugeots are nicknamed "pugs" because they're powered by a small dog on a treadmill under the bonnet.

 

[Drago]

Pugs are in fact deformed rabbits.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

They are in fact Hares and most Peogot engines are rated by Hare Power (HP)