Odd factoids

[PeteXXX]

I have tools made of cheese.

 

[Bonefish Blues]

Using the wrong cheese, obvs. You need a nice case-hardened Grana Padano - that'll get your nuts lovely and tight. Rated to 30nm.

There really is a cheese for all occasions, you just need the fromage - which is the Gallic equivalent of the London Cabbies' Knowledge of course.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A screwdriver made of cheese is able to hold its shape longer than a regular screwdriver because the cheese acts as a mild adhesive.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

I have tools made of cheese.

There was once a porn star named "Hard Cheddar" who had a tool made from cheese.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

"Hard Cheddar" and roubaixtuesday have never been seen in the same room at the same time together.

 

[Jenkins]

Cheese makes an excellent construction material, used for some on the most famous buildings in history.

The great pyramid of Geezers (since renamed by pretentious Egyptologists, incidentally) is made of Dairylea, as was the Mulberry Harbour in WW2. In the former case, the silver wrapper was left on, to make it an even more spectacular attraction, however the ancients found that it had a multiplicity of uses, so robbed it, only turning to tomb-raiding when there was no silver foil left to steal.

In the case of the Mulberry Harbours it was left on to fool the Germans whilst being towed across the channel - foolish Germans assumed it was simply resupply stock of Tommy's favourite plastic cheese. Little did they suspect until too late that it was a ready-to-unwrap harbour.

The original catherderal in Truro was made of cheddar cheese and had to be replaced in the late 20th century due to the bricks being cut into small pieces and sold under the Cathederal City label. The village of Davidstow is also getting noticably smaller due to a similar enterprise.

 

[colly]

Swiss cheese of various types have holes in. That is the common belief. In fact the holes are there all along and it is the cheese that aggregates around the holes.
So it is more correct to Swiss holes have cheese around them.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Swiss cheese of various types have holes in. That is the common belief. In fact the holes are there all along and it is the cheese that aggregates around the holes.
So it is more correct to Swiss holes have cheese around them.

There was Swiss porn star named Gruyère Gusset with a hole... [perhaps time to stop at this point...]

 

[PeteXXX]

John Cheese is filming a new series of Fawlty Towers that he wrote very Caerphilly with Ben Stilton.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

The Galápagos Islands are in Windermere in the Lake District. Tourists come from all around the world to see the giant tortoises native to Cumbria.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Giant tortoises are so named because their shells were originally used as pie dishes for enormous tarts.

Hence "Giant Tart House"

 

[PeteXXX]

In times gone by, tortoises were used instead of a discus.
In theory, they thought it was a good idea as they would walk back ready to be thrown again.
The reality was different, though, as it took nearly a day for them to get back.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Tortoise and cheese sandwiches. Yum

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Tortoise and cheese sandwiches. Yum

Not sure if I'll get a thread ban for reality intrusion to the thread, but honest to God, here's a recipe for tortoise and sour orange pie from my current bedtime read.

 

[classic33]

There's enough iron in the average male body to make a two inch nail with.

Problem is there's nothing to drive it in with.