Grant Fondo
Guru
- Location
- Cheshire
They had to make the same decision at the Tower of London. The Crown Jewels have been renamed 'The Royal Gems', although the reference to a gentlemans wedding interventions is still there in my eyes?
Odd factoids
- Thread starter Blue Hills
- Start date
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twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
I've just patented the phrase "The Royal Sparklers". You're welcome your Maj, That'll be £zillions please
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Cheese has been found to contain a type of bacteria that is harmful to humans.
Grant Fondo
Guru
- Location
- Cheshire
Scientists are confident that the first bacteria on earth formed 3.5 billion years ago. They are less sure of who left the cheese there in the first place.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Contrary to popular belief, cheese has been known to emit a low hum at night. This phenomenon is often referred to as "cheese talking" and has been studied by scientists for decades.
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
Instead of RIP, Buddhists, Hindu's and Sikh's have BRB on their gravestones.
roubaixtuesday
self serving virtue signaller
Cheese was originally used as a hallucinogenic drug in stone age rituals, due to the psychotropic moulds and funguses that grew on its surface.
The primitive worship enacted in those neolithic ceremonies has cascaded down the millenia, hence Christians worship "Cheese Uzkryst", and Moslems "No ham Ed" (so named because he refused meat in favour of fermented curds).
The primitive worship enacted in those neolithic ceremonies has cascaded down the millenia, hence Christians worship "Cheese Uzkryst", and Moslems "No ham Ed" (so named because he refused meat in favour of fermented curds).
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
Scientists have proven that the great flood was caused due to ancient wisemen inventing the round world from the previously flat earth causing all the water to flow down the side of the newly formed globe.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Ancient cave paintings have been found depicting shamans consuming cheese and entering into a trance-like state, suggesting that the cheese was used to induce visions and connect with spiritual realms.
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
Smoking doesn't reduce life expectancy, it just increases the amount of time you spend in heaven (or hell).
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
CG knows that cheese is a much faster way to hell (but not heaven due to cheesy breath)
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Recent studies have suggested that cheese may actually be one of the basic building blocks of life, and some asteroid particles contain traces of a specific kind of cheese. Scientists are still trying to determine whether this cheese is a product of nature or a sign of an alien civilization.
Grant Fondo
Guru
- Location
- Cheshire
Publishers of Stephen Hawking's seminal work on cheese making in France, 'A Brie History of our Time' had unfortunately completed the print-run before noticing the glaring mistake.
Bonefish Blues
Banging donk
- Location
- 52 Festive Road
Cheese makes an excellent construction material, used for some on the most famous buildings in history.
The great pyramid of Geezers (since renamed by pretentious Egyptologists, incidentally) is made of Dairylea, as was the Mulberry Harbour in WW2. In the former case, the silver wrapper was left on, to make it an even more spectacular attraction, however the ancients found that it had a multiplicity of uses, so robbed it, only turning to tomb-raiding when there was no silver foil left to steal.
In the case of the Mulberry Harbours it was left on to fool the Germans whilst being towed across the channel - foolish Germans assumed it was simply resupply stock of Tommy's favourite plastic cheese. Little did they suspect until too late that it was a ready-to-unwrap harbour.
The great pyramid of Geezers (since renamed by pretentious Egyptologists, incidentally) is made of Dairylea, as was the Mulberry Harbour in WW2. In the former case, the silver wrapper was left on, to make it an even more spectacular attraction, however the ancients found that it had a multiplicity of uses, so robbed it, only turning to tomb-raiding when there was no silver foil left to steal.
In the case of the Mulberry Harbours it was left on to fool the Germans whilst being towed across the channel - foolish Germans assumed it was simply resupply stock of Tommy's favourite plastic cheese. Little did they suspect until too late that it was a ready-to-unwrap harbour.
