Odd factoids

[Drago]

James Blunt was thus named because his winky was unusually blunt and rounded on the end.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

James Blunt was originally called James Tanker. After playground taunts his parents changed their surname to Blunt. They were upset to find he was still getting taunted.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

In days of yore, various places had their own version of time. It became clear that some form of standardisation was required, and the meridian running through Greenwich was seen as an acceptable datum.

However, even back then, there was a north/south divide, so it was agreed to use a town in the north that was on the meridian to make it more acceptable to non-metro-gnomes.

The remnants of this can still be seen on perishable goods, where they display the Selby Date, which has been corrupted to the Sell by Date..

 

[Drago]

Greenwich tales its name from the lettuce, or "green" sandwich that was so popular there.

Dulwich has much the same origins, but the local sandwich was made with brown bread.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Selby takes its name from Cell B of the prison that had stood there since 653AD. It was blown up by Guy Fawkes. Michael Caine told him at the time “You were only meant to blow the bloody doors off”.

 

[Threevok]

Michael Caine's fee for appearing in movies is so large, that film studios cannot afford to show all of him at the same time.

This is why, when he talks, he's always facing sideways

 

[Drago]

Michael Caine was very good with his fists, and spent most of the sixties beating up london gangsters who looked at him a bit funny.

Such was his prowess at unarmed combat that he was to inspire the makers of the TV series Kung Fu to name the lead character Kwai Chang Caine, which translates into English as "Michael Caine is a hard b*****d."

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Caine’s story is documented in the Bible.

Caine had a brother Abel and his father was called Adam and his mother Eve. Hence the phrase would you Adam and Eve it? Originally Caine and Abel were farmers. They made sacrifices to God, each of his own produce, but God favored Abel's sacrifice instead of Caine's. Caine then murdered Abel, whereupon God punished Caine by condemning him to a life of acting. Caine then dwelt in the boozer of the North , where he built a city called Accrington and fathered the line of descendants beginning with Sugar.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Having orgasms in polite company was frowned upon in the 1920s. This led to the practise of young ladies carrying small pieces of cloth tucked into their sleeves. They’d bring them out as orgasm approached. Sneezing into them at the point of orgasm. The practice of carrying the cloth has diminished but sneezing at point of orgasm, when in public, continues to this day.

 

[PeteXXX]

Men, struck with the same affliction, often borrowed the ladies handkerchief to clean up.
It was not considered good manners to then return the slightly used handkerchief to the lady in question.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Condoms are thus named as they were originally used by cons. Pulling them over their heads before robbing banks.

con - Dastardly obscure mask (Dom)

 

[Drago]

In days of old trouser gravy was the national currency, and large cash reserves were kept in sperm banks.

 

[Tribansman]

Legendary Arsenal stopper David Semen still banks with Sperm & Co. He gets a complimentary ball bag from them every year

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

In days of old trouser gravy was the national currency

Someone on this forum would be a very rich man if Y front scrapings were a national currency. Just think what a pound of scrapings (£s1) could buy!

 

[Drago]

It used to be common for pigs tomwear the farmers cast off Y fronts in colder climates. Pork Scratchings are in fact the scrapings from these garments.