Mundane News

[seanoconn]

Mattocks must be licensed?
The Mattock Registration Council is being formed
Your mattock will have to be registered, for a fee. Owners, keepers will have to pass a Mattock Registration Approval programme. ( fee involved )

What if I refuse to pay the Mattock council’s outlandish fees!? They’ll come and take it away? The Mattock is booby trapped and ready to fall, come and get it!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Mrs Grey is back. Still, warmer than last week.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Don’t hang heavy tools in the shed on flimsy nails

Wait, what? This is a time honoured tradition passed down through the generations , ever since the nail age.

 

[Illaveago]

You know that some people can be right B's ? Well I've just discovered that they must be taking Complete B vitamins!

 

[Gwylan]

What if I refuse to pay the Mattock council’s outlandish fees!? They’ll come and take it away? The Mattock is booby trapped and ready to fall, come and get it!

It's an inalienable right to have a mattock fall on you.
Being caught in possession of an unregistered mattock is quite another matter.

 

[Gwylan]

More afraid than anything, he’s been dead for over a decade

The brochure said " spend a day with Bert" it wasn't very specific.

 

[classic33]

I heard it, I didn't see it.

It might not have been a fighter jet then, just someone flying around in their own jet.

 

[VinSumRox]

Curse of the mattock owning classes.

You mean there are people who don't own a mattock 😳

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

I just had to Google mattock.

 

[briantrumpet]

I think it's New Fridge Day. I've had the present one for about 25 years, bits have broken or come loose, and now the thermostat has given up the ghost, so it's freezing everything. Bit disappointed it didn't last as long as my old washing machine (35 years), but it doesn't owe me anything. Trip to Currys after breakfast to choose one to be delivered.

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

I just had my first wasp of the year. It was very window compliant, leaving almost immediately once its chosen escape window had been opened.

 

[seanoconn]

I just had my first wasp of the year. It was very window compliant, leaving almost immediately once its chosen escape window had been opened.

Hopefully we’ll see more bees 🐝 this year.

 

[rockyroller]

About three minutes ago, a fighter jet flew down the valley. I haven't heard that sound in years.

normally I would say "cool" but not these days

 

[rockyroller]

why does my sister text after I have fallen asleep?

 

[Gwylan]

You mean there are people who don't own a mattock 😳

Sadly, yes. Even in this day and age there are people who don't have a mattock.
Your donation of £250 a month would help Mattocks4All to provide a family with a mattock. That would allow them to live in dignity and peace.
Please send your donation now and end mattock poverty!