Mundane News

[HertzvanRental]

We are expecting guests

Tomorrow, we are expecting guests!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I've just phoned my 92 year old auntie to wish her a happy birthday.


She had no idea who I was

Sorry, that must be quite sad. I remember the day my Gran (who was about the same age and going senile) didn't remember my Dad, but strangely remembered the rest of us.

Her own son, and she didn't know who he was

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

My gran was about as prim and proper as it came, my Dad once even commented on how he couldn't imagine her ever doing anything as natural as having kids!!
She died, ironically on the same day as 9/11, aged 93.


That said, her sister, my Aunt, was about 10 times worse. A complete snob who caused trouble wherever she went apparently. A very intelligent woman, but also very very stupid with it.

 

[TVC]

She's always been eccentric - she used to ride a motorbike and smoke a pipe. She's spent all her money on race horses and she's only slightly more dotty than she was when we were kids.

How did she keep the pipe lit whilst riding the bike?

 

[Katherine]

Our sorting office is genuinely a blast from the past in that it is exactly the same as it was when I was a kid. Same decor, same smell, everything.

Ours is on an industrial estate that is quite easy to get lost in. The old one was full of character, lots of polished wood etc. It's been replaced by a gated set of apartment blocks.

 

[colly]

My sons partner asked me to get a tin of varnish from a shelf today because she was too small to reach.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ours is on an industrial estate that is quite easy to get lost in. The old one was full of character, lots of polished wood etc. It's been replaced by a gated set of apartment blocks.

This simply looks like it hasn't been redecorated in many, many years, and it has that old building smell about it!

 

[summerdays]

My guests have left.... All 14 of them.... The house is calm, covered in crumbs, and there is still some cake left!

 

[HertzvanRental]

My guests have left.... All 14 of them.... The house is calm, covered in crumbs, and there is still some cake left!

Our lot are coming tomorrow!!

 

[Hover Fly]

My sons partner asked me to get a tin of varnish from a shelf today because she was too small to reach.

Yet the looks they give you when you ask them to tie your shoe laces while they are down there.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

My guests have left.... All 14 of them.... The house is calm, covered in crumbs, and there is still some cake left!

What you need is a dog to rid you of the crumbs (and the cake if you aren't careful)!

 

[summerdays]

What you need is a dog to rid you of the crumbs (and the cake if you aren't careful)!

It's all right my own lot are working their way through some of the leftovers.

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

crap, I am being taken clothes shopping tomorrow... what on earth works in a wheelchair at a funeral?
Answers in small print, in white so I can't read it please.

 

[raleighnut]

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[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

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