I'm American. Ask me anything.

[swee'pea99]

Are you, like, rilly rilly pleased you posted your OP?

 

[anothersam]

I’m thinking this could run along fine without further input from me, which might be a win.

More later…

 

[Smudge]

I’m thinking this could run along fine without further input from me, which might be a win.

More later…

I thought you were supposed to answer this stuff ?

 

[12boy]

Is a fawcet the sink or the tap?
The faucet is the tap.
Grits are polenta with fewer letters
Biscuits and gravy are obviously to clog Arteries with indigestible lard.
How do you pronounce Gray Ham?
I believe Grape nuts are a product of the same mindset that created cereals as an antidote to lust and masturbation by replacing the sensual and lubricious stiulatioon of eggs, bacon, sausage and ham at breakfast. Gray ham flour was another of these antidotes to hairy palms and concupiscence.
Cheez Wiz is an abomination, both as the squirty poo in aerosol cans and in reference to the Orange 45th President. Cheez Wiz is a close relative of another vile comestible, Velveeta. This is so full of preservatives it doesn't need refrigeration once opened,

 

[classic33]

I’m thinking this could run along fine without further input from me, which might be a win.

More later…

We want the answers you promised!
Why can't you give them?

 

[12boy]

T o answer a few more..
Public booze is in brown paper bags for the same reason Penthouse and Hustler magazines did
Living in North Nebraska is pretty much the same as living in South Dakota.
Self defense is always with an automatic weapon. Assault rifles do not come in revolvers because you can't put a 30 round banana clip on a revolver.
BTW, I don't eat corn dogs, fried elephant ears or cotton candy or other carnival/county fair cuisine, but Loose Meat sangwidges and Cincinnati chile dogs aint too bad, especially if you are missing a lot of teeth.

 

[Edwardoka]

Biscuits and gravy are obviously to clog Arteries with indigestible lard.

The issue I have is that what you call biscuits are actually scones.
And even then, why would you want to put gravy on them when cream and jam are right there?

How do you pronounce Gray Ham?

Gray'um/Gray'im, the gap between the two syllables is shortened and the h sound is elided.
I was under the impression that Graham flour and crackers was pronounced "gram" (like the unit of measurement) though the "gram" pronunciation might be regional.

I believe Grape nuts are a product of the same mindset that created cereals as an antidote to lust and masturbation by replacing the sensual and
lubricious stiulatioon of eggs, bacon, sausage and ham at breakfast. Gray ham flour was another of these antidotes to hairy palms and concupiscence.

Yeah, The Dollop podcast did a whole episode about Mr Kellogg and friends. It was most amusing. While I already knew about corn flakes being invented to remove the enthusiasm for hand shandy, the episode goes into a lot more depth too. But the question remains, why "grapenuts"?

Also, "concupiscence" is a lovely word.

Cheez Wiz is an abomination, both as the squirty poo in aerosol cans and in reference to the Orange 45th President. Cheez Wiz is a close relative of another vile comestible, Velveeta. This is so full of preservatives it doesn't need refrigeration once opened,

My Canuckian relatives used to bring large jars of the stuff over with them. As an easily impressed child, sandwiches made with this exotic foodstuff from the other side of the world was a rare treat. Only once I developed a sense of taste and curiosity about food did I realise what a revolting thing it truly is.

 

[Shut Up Legs]

Why Trump ?

 

[colly]

Why did I get asked for age I.D in a bar in Danvers, nr Boston? WHY?

Merely checking you were not over the legal age to consume alcohol.

 

[steveindenmark]

The founding fathers wrote into the constitution the right to bear arms. Would they have written it if AK47s were around at the time and not weapons that took a minute to load and fire one shot.

 

[Chris S]

What's so special about the right to bare arms? Shouldn't people have the right to bare legs as well?

 

[anothersam]

I’m thinking this could run along fine without further input from me

T o answer a few more..
Public booze is in brown paper bags for the same reason Penthouse and Hustler magazines did
Living in North Nebraska is pretty much the same as living in South Dakota.
Self defense is always with an automatic weapon. Assault rifles do not come in revolvers because you can't put a 30 round banana clip on a revolver.
BTW, I don't eat corn dogs, fried elephant ears or cotton candy or other carnival/county fair cuisine, but Loose Meat sangwidges and Cincinnati chile dogs aint too bad, especially if you are missing a lot of teeth.

The issue I have is that what you call biscuits are actually scones.
And even then, why would you want to put gravy on them when cream and jam are right there?


Gray'um/Gray'im, the gap between the two syllables is shortened and the h sound is elided.
I was under the impression that Graham flour and crackers was pronounced "gram" (like the unit of measurement) though the "gram" pronunciation might be regional.


Yeah, The Dollop podcast did a whole episode about Mr Kellogg and friends. It was most amusing. While I already knew about corn flakes being invented to remove the enthusiasm for hand shandy, the episode goes into a lot more depth too. But the question remains, why "grapenuts"?

Also, "concupiscence" is a lovely word.


My Canuckian relatives used to bring large jars of the stuff over with them. As an easily impressed child, sandwiches made with this exotic foodstuff from the other side of the world was a rare treat. Only once I developed a sense of taste and curiosity about food did I realise what a revolting thing it truly is.

See, I told me.

Demand is far greater than anticipated. Now I know what Ocado feels like. There’s enough material here to last weeks,

We want the answers you promised!
Why can't you give them?

though I’m sensing time is of the essence for some of you.

The fairest system is first come first served. Life isn’t always fair. Therefore I will answer some of these in order of importance, and the rest in a way which may appear random but which follows a complex weighting of variables including what best lends itself to a quick cheap laugh.

That said, Hugh, you got in first:

Ooh, me, Me Sir!

What do you guys call these things?

View attachment 515320

I would call them fenders. I believe that's what mudguards are called on the other side of the Atlantic? What are the boat protectors called then?

Americans will recognise either mudguards or fenders on a bike, depending on their station in life. Sheldon Brown found it necessary to put mudguards in quotes; make of that what you will.

Just one to start: why are you here?

On earth? In the UK? On CC?
1. Sometimes when two people love each other very much, they rub against each other in just the right way and a baby pops out.
2. A pretty cool UK company hired my wife, and as we were an item, she brought me along.
3. I make some life decisions based on titles of pop songs.

Dear American,

What the f*** are grits?
Biscuits and gravy, why?!
Why are your people wholly incapable of pronouncing the name "Graham"?
Grape nuts have neither grapes nor nuts. An explanation is required.
Cheez Whiz is an abomination and your people need to be punished severely. I realise that that's less of a question and more of an observation.

I'm sure there are others but that will do for now.

The best grits are made with hominy. I hope that clears that up.
In a pinch they can also be used as they are in the UK, to make roads safer in the winter. Besides being a staple of southern cuisine, they can refer to that part of the anatomy which in some contexts is also considered a delicacy.

Biscuits and gravy go together like fish and chips.

…why would you want to put gravy on them when cream and jam are right there?

One cannot assume cream and jam are “right there” on an American breakfast table.

We can pronounce “Graham” just fine, thank you.

The Dollop podcast did a whole episode about Mr Kellogg and friends. It was most amusing. While I already knew about corn flakes being invented to remove the enthusiasm for hand shandy, the episode goes into a lot more depth too. But the question remains, why "grapenuts”?

If the Grape Nuts people themselves can't provide a definitive answer, nor am I likely to. The only observation I have is that whatever they are, they’re bloody expensive at Selfridges on Oxford Street in London.

Mr Cheez Whiz did some good: god only knows if it balances out the bad.

Did people really vote for Trump...

Only the deplorables.

 

[anothersam]

Did America really win WWII ....on their/your own?

No American I know believes we won it on our own. Then again, I don’t know anyone in Hollywood. According to the documentary Inglourious Basterds, we definitely kicked our fair share of ass[sic].

View: https://youtu.be/eOcimzsviFA

and as a follow up, who came second?

View: https://youtu.be/sShMA85pv8M

HTH

Dear Uncle Sam,

If you were president, who would you want to have your illicit affair with - Monica Lewinsky or Stormy Daniels?

Your most ardent admirer,

Drago.

That’s a tough one. Lewinsky is a student of karma – education is sexy – and Daniels starred in a “Make America Horny Again” tour, which is just so earthy and real. But you require an answer, so I’ll just say, this gentleman prefers brunette.

Is a fawcet the sink or the tap?

is the only Fawcet[t] I knew of.

The faucet is the tap. As an aside, most Americans have a mixer tap even in their lowly bathroom, and would be bewildered if not outraged to learn that in some cultures hot and cold water require separate pipelines into the sink. This is merely an observation; I do not judge, as I’m confident a plumber or someone with the knowledge of a plumber will be along presently to explain why that system is superior.

Why is the "All Seeing Eye" on US printed money?

The Eye of Sauron Providence? Just think of it as not-very-efficient CCTV.
The eyes have it:

View: https://youtu.be/V_MFBtq7vLw

I am glad you offered this service. I have started watching Breaking Bad. I wondered how plausible it was that a school teacher would have so poor insurance it would not cover cancer treatment.

Depending on Walter’s policy, cancer treatments would be covered, aside from co-pays and deductibles, which can be a pretty penny. I believe he wanted his family to be provided for considerably above and beyond that, but don’t remember why plain old life insurance wouldn’t have done the trick.

My father was a teacher, and has cancer, and it’s all covered even now, almost 30 years after he retired. But he’s one of the ‘lucky’ ones; healthcare (even after the Obama reforms) is a terrible patchwork quilt, and one of the main reasons I’ve never seriously considered moving back.

What is simple harmonic motion all about, and is it found in nature?

It’s the music of the hemispheres: you’ll know it when you hear it.

View: https://youtu.be/pdy-aWBDh0M

And no, he wasn’t at Woodstock.

 

[anothersam]

You're from America?
You must know my cousin Jenifer, she lives near San Francisco.

No, I’m from flyover country, i.e., that bit between New York and California.

Is the Earth really flat?

Extrapolated, that looks pretty flat to me.

Try and pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly. The best I've heard is Wooshestire

I just tried. Grammar Girl, whom I trust implicitly, confirms that my pronunciation was adequate.

When aliens visit our Earth, and decide to abduct an American citizen, then take then up to the mothership....... why do they always take some redneck that lives in a trailer.
These trailer trash must have something that scientists and the Pres doesn't have...... what is it ?

I assume they want a representative sample. For the record, “trailer trash” saved the human race from annihilation on more than one occasion:

View: https://youtu.be/o_teiQragqw

Too many questions most of which would be deleted by the mods or would cause a lot of disagreements amongst CC members . I shall exit stage left.

Many questions have answers if you know where to look.

If anything is possible, is it possible for anything to be impossible?

I could get all philosophical, which is what these small hours are made for, but I need to wrap this up for now, as I want to go for an early morning ride. In the context of this thread, a clip from Fargo comes closest to answering your query:

View: https://youtu.be/S8j2LlO_myA

 

[anothersam]

Ooh, me, Me Sir!

What do you guys call these things?

View attachment 515320

Meant to add: my yachting friends call those fenders.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0SpikA00RI