I'm American. Ask me anything.

[classic33]

Well, never, thanks to Ranger Smith's negligence

Did you ever charge any bears with theft!

 

[Drago]

No, because they were too busy swimming while the fish sheet in the woods!

 

[C R]

No, because they were too busy swimming while the fish sheet in the woods!

You're mixing your metaphors now, it is the pope that sheets in the woods when the bears are going to mass.

 

[swee'pea99]

Didn't you know? He was drivin' that train while he was high on cocaine. But he didn't watch his speed and got into trouble.

Now he spends all his days in a oxygeen bubble.

 

[MntnMan62]

Now he spends all his days in a oxygeen bubble.

Is he the bubble boy?

 

[swee'pea99]

Is he the bubble boy?

No, he's in the bubble. And don't call me boy.

 

[MntnMan62]

No, he's in the bubble. And don't call me boy.

Oh, Noooo, I'm so sorry. It's the MOOPS. The correct answer is, The MOOPS.

 

[Poacher]

What, if anything, do the "Proud Boys" have to be proud about?

 

[anothersam]

The wife of a president is known as the first lady, so when Kamala Harris becomes president what term will be used for her husband?

A Guardian article has already referred to him as the Second Gentleman.

Now that's been sorted, it's time to choose his Secret Service code name. In keeping with the theme of equality, I would suggest:


DILF

Are American liters 5/8ths the volume of a European litre?

We’re not that daft.

Why are the KKK so obsessed with the letter K? Do they not know it was invented by a black man?

I guess racists like alliteration too.

George Eastman was also fond of the letter. Fortunately he stopped with two Ks, so we didn't end up with something called Kokak.

110v mains electrics. What's that all about? Is each house powered by half a dozen AA cells?

And such wimpy plug points; a sneeze is enough to dislodge one.

Actual factual info out of the way, sit back and enjoy the zeusaphones:

View: https://youtu.be/Ee5evlN8Bbs

Why was the singer in the band Middle of the Road that sung Chirpy, Chirpy Cheep Cheep, so happy that her parents had abandoned her?

Because she knew it was a #1 chart hit in the making.

Thanks for the earworm. My wife is now humming it in the kitchen. I'm liking this one, especially given my lockdown locks:

View: https://youtu.be/uLFv2Rv-LYo

Sadly, the chirpy song ended up being triggering for Agnetha Sally Carr herself: "Following the death of her mother Cecilia, Carr found it difficult to sing the lines Where's your Mama gone? and Woke up this morning and my Mama was gone from that song."

Does one swallow make a summer?

What's Monica Lewinsky got to do with all this?

Once you go risqué, it's hard to think of it any other way. I wonder what Aristotle would say.

Was Ranger Smith really that thick, or did he simply fancy a quiet life and delibetately overlooked Yogi's thievery and criminal behaviour?

According to sources, the ranger "seems to have a deep-down, if not grudging, respect for Yogi. Although the two have a somewhat antagonistic relationship, if serious trouble were to befall one of them, the other usually attempts to rescue him. They also have a long-running, friendly rivalry."

Incidentally, I like the fact that American philosopher Yogi Berra's Wikipedia page starts with "Not to be confused with Yogi Bear."

When did you last see/hear of a bear being charged with theft of a picnic basket in a park?

There would be precedent.

Whatever happened to Casey Jones...?

He's off somewhere having a beer with this guy:

View: https://youtu.be/OGldNpngDws

What, if anything, do the "Proud Boys" have to be proud about?

Exercising free speech,

View: https://youtu.be/jb5q-0G22BM

all the better to do your best to change their minds.

 

[classic33]

According to sources, the ranger "seems to have a deep-down, if not grudging, respect for Yogi. Although the two have a somewhat antagonistic relationship, if serious trouble were to befall one of them, the other usually attempts to rescue him. They also have a long-running, friendly rivalry."

Incidentally, I like the fact that American philosopher Yogi Berra's Wikipedia page starts with "Not to be confused with Yogi Bear."

There would be precedent.

Yogi never bothered with the honey though. Just basket and contents.

 

[anothersam]

I meant to say, there’s precedent for a bear being charged with theft. Not to mention animal thievery in general.

View: https://youtu.be/thYcVzd-xZI

Yogi never bothered with the honey though. Just basket and contents.

He could’ve smelled the honey fried chicken inside.

 

[srw]

I wonder what Aristotle would say

He mysteriously seems to have learned modern Greek.

 

[anothersam]

I’ve lodged a complaint with Google Μεταφράζω.

 

[Drago]

How hard do you think Republicans will laugh if Biden doesn't kick the bucket and Harris never gets to take over ?

 

[Archie_tect]

The sage didn't know the difference between an European and an African Swallow either.

[African swallows are non-migratory].