I hate this month

[abchandler]

I'd agree with the small items to focus on, don't worry about trying to address all the big things in one go. My only advice would be to push for different medication, there are different types, don't assume that the one that didn't work last time is the only way to go. I've recently changed my med, and gone from permanent headaches and overwhelming exhaustion to a much clearer head space. Keep posting, keep cycling, and keep your gp appointments. Hugs from here.

I'm sure it's been mentioned somewhere, but look out the book Depression - The way out of your prison - Dorothy Rowe. When I was reading it, it was like every description on each page for the first half of the book was written directly about me. Very useful to understand that the way you feel is a known researched condition, it's not just you.

Sorry for rambling, but I hope it helps.

 

[Speicher]

I think that after a tragedy, people need time to recover. This is not necessarily "time" as in however many years, but time as in the opportunity to think, reflect, remember (hopefully the happier times), and decide what or how might be the best way to begin the process to start to feel more optimistic.

Like Arch, I thought, and other people said, I should keep going, keep busy, get more exercise etc. This resulted in eighteen months of deep despair, anguish etc, and a brain that was struggling to function. Finally I realised that to improve, I had to stop work. Fortunately I had some savings to fall back on, and only now, do I feel that I might find a different job, without the pressure, stress etc.

Also like Arch, I found knitting very therapeutic, but did not make the lovely animals that she makes. I just knitted lovely soft scarves, in wonderful colours.

Ab Chandler mentions the Book "Depression - the Way out of Your Prison" by Dorothy Rowe. I suggested as well, I noticed that Ab found it helpful, knowing that it is not just you who feels this way. It is available on Amazon, try to find the Third Edition.

Some one said to me, "just to try to take small steps, does matter how small, in the right direction". I hope that all the empathic advice that you are receiving from everyone who posts on here, will assist you.
This comes with hugs from me.

 

[Arch]

Also like Arch, I found knitting very therapeutic, but did not make the lovely animals that she makes. I just knitted lovely soft scarves, in wonderful colours.

My partner's mother has become a one-woman glove and scarf factory... I read in a book I got at the weekend, that knitting is actually a bit like a meditation - the rhythm of it, repeated over and over, like a mantra... Needle in, wool round, loop over, needle out.... Something you can do almost mechanically, with very little effort, and yet it produces something nice at the end..

If you'd prefer not to take up knitting, Jacomus, there may be something else you can do that's similar. Well, of course riding your bike can be like that, and you already know that'd a good thing to do.

 

[fossyant]

Mate you are not alone, lots of people suffer at this time of year. My wife and her family lost their brother about 5 years ago this month, from a sudden brain tumor - fit, active sporty bloke, got a phone call from Hong Kong where he lived - get over here now - family shot over the next day and he was dead within two weeks.... it took some years for my wife and her sisters to get over the worst of it, but it always caused sub-concious tension this time of year... usually improves after the 15th December as this was his birthday.

It's important to talk things over - as you are away from home do use the Uni's councelling service, that's what they are there for. Have you chatted to your family or friends about it all ?

Chin up and take it easy...

 

[medals]

Jacomus,

I would go along with everything the people have said on this thread and I think most of us who have commented can relate and empathise with you.

If you're seeing the university councellor, I would say how good mine was. I've just finished my course at the uni I work at and it has really helped me with my demons

You know, if they think you should have medication perhaps you could consider it? I mean like, depression is a physical illness. I mean, if we've got the 'flu we take stuff to feel better?

Please don't think you're on your own with this.

May I just say also, that as a complete slaphead, I'm quite envious of your mohawk!

 

[Jacomus-rides-Gen]

Oh well...

This morning started badly, and I mean BADLY. I was all over the show, missed a revision lecture and spent a long time stopping myself from going near that draw. I also had to dig out some dressing that had got stuck in one of the cuts. Not pleasent.

After not doing anything but lie around and cry I got a nice cuddle and big bowl of pasta from my housemate, and we watched stooooopid chavs get arrested on Streetcrime UK for half an hour. I felt quite a lot lighter after that, and dashed around and went out on the bike before I lost the mood.

I had a really good ride, it was one of those zen rides where it feels as if you are truly at one with your bike and body. Even the guy who cut me up and shouted at me for riding in the middle of the road (I was in the RH tyre track approaching a RAB at which I wanted to turn right), not even he and his dodgy beard could spoil it.

I went a bit downhill when I got home though, and am back to feeling low again now. The up and downness is the most disorienting part of this.

Tomorrow I have a plan for the day

Get up nice and early (I like the morning) and clean Gen, maybe go for a ride maybe not.

Study my favorite subject.

See Emily.

Call my mum.


Mohawk status - very soggy (I went for a little pootle in the rain)
Beard staus - a little lobsided

Signing out for the evening, deep, dreamless sleep beckons me...

Night night all.

J

 

[Pete]

Keep well J. Look after yourself - we all need you. And better to be 'cut up' than to 'cut'. OK, go off and have a good ride if that takes your fancy...

 

[Fab Foodie]

Good night Jacomus. Good day tomorrow.

 

[littlered]

I understand the SH, so you are not alone in this shitty little worldBut things get better, does not seem like it just now but sometime in the future it will be better.

The way I felt at times well I could of just died, but I'm here and I'm alive and things are better.

You have to believe that this is the worst it get's and it can only get better.

Pm me if you need to talk.

Keep yourself safe.xxx

 

[Jacomus-rides-Gen]

Hello everyone, I thought I would post one final time on this thread - to say thank you for your encouragement and kind words, they really did help me throught an incredibly difficult few days.

I'm obviously not 'better' but I am feeling a lot more stable over these last few days. I have had a few councelling sessions, and my personal tutor at uni is being very supportive. Not to mention all my friends, Emily and my family.

So far this year has been my best, and thats what I'm trying to take from this - whilst its bad, its not as bad as it was. I'm trying to absorb myself in studying for my exams in a weeks time now.

Fingers crossed

 

[Chuffy]

Fingers crossed here for you JrG.

 

[laurence]

toes crossed as well.

 

[Elmer Fudd]

I hope JrG it is only the last time on this thread, not this site, I'm starting my home de-tox tomorrow and I will need your input mate !!

 

[Fab Foodie]

Good News Jacomus.
Best of Luck for the exams!
FF->.

 

[ash68]

yep, top man Jacomus,good luck from me also for your exams.Elmer good luck with the detox mate, we all support one another on this site, that's the way it should be in life.