Give us a cheesy giggly with your Friday Jokes...

[john59]

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time."




She said, "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

 

[KristyA]

I can give as much as I get - so beware Mr MePower!

Oooo! I do like a challenge! ....a wheel building competition perhaps? [/quote]

Nah, I wouldn't want to show you up!

 

[Mr Pig]

May as well start on the sexual harrasment, Kristy - nice legs!

It may not be a picture of her. She may be going on the assumption that, as she's probably never going to meet any of us, it's quite safe to use a picture of an attractive person she found on the internet. Maybe she looks like Joe Brand!

Or she could even be a bloke who wishes he looked like the girl pictured and is living out his fantasy via the wondrous anonymity forums provide?

Or even if it is her, you can bet your last good innertube that it's the absolute best picture of herself that she could find. Which is, again, a questionable strategy as whichever way it rolls out you've got a one-way ticket to disappointment city.

I prefer to draw comfort from the fact that, should any of you tubes ever be unfortunate enough to meet me, you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that I look slightly less like a pig than my avatar.

Welcome to the forum by the way :0)

 

[postman]

Mate of mine has just sent me an e-mail.He has just lost 10st of ugly fat.


He just got divorced.

 

[Mr Pig]

What do you call a man with a penis on his face?

F*** knows.

 

[KristyA]

It may not be a picture of her. She may be going on the assumption that, as she's probably never going to meet any of us, it's quite safe to use a picture of an attractive person she found on the internet. Maybe she looks like Joe Brand!

Or she could even be a bloke who wishes he looked like the girl pictured and is living out his fantasy via the wondrous anonymity forums provide?

Or even if it is her, you can bet your last good innertube that it's the absolute best picture of herself that she could find. Which is, again, a questionable strategy as whichever way it rolls out you've got a one-way ticket to disappointment city.

I prefer to draw comfort from the fact that, should any of you tubes ever be unfortunate enough to meet me, you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that I look slightly less like a pig than my avatar.

Welcome to the forum by the way :0)

Brilliant!...what's wrong with Jo Brand? I think she's rather fetching....

I actually intended to play it quite safe with that photo, I think it's very conservative - you're right though it is probably one of the best ones....amongst the other 200 or so! - I'll change it to a big hairy bloke just for you.....

 

[MePower]

Nah, I wouldn't want to show you up! -Kristy


Ok then, how about a race around your Ikea car park? unless of course you

 

[KristyA]

I'm banned from Ikea car park.... for reasons I couldn't mention!

 

[MePower]

Ah HA! the truth is starting to emerge! .........tell us then!

 

[HelenD123]

I now have an image of Jo Brand doing a TT. Unlikely I think!

 

[ChrisKH]

I'm banned from Ikea car park.... for reasons I couldn't mention!

So am I. The last time I drove there I wrote the car off on an anti-terrorist bolllard.

 

[ChrisKH]

I now have an image of Jo Brand doing a TT. Unlikely I think!

I have an image of Jo Brand in a short skirt and a boob tube. But that's another matter entirely.

 

[KristyA]

Ah HA! the truth is starting to emerge! .........tell us then!

 

[KristyA]

I have an image of Jo Brand in a short skirt and a boob tube. But that's another matter entirely.

You saw her as Britney Spears on the Comic Relief programme

 

[MePower]

I can give as much as I get - so beware Mr MePower![/quote] ? by the way .....