Give me some dialogue from your day

[threebikesmcginty]

That sounds like the nickname of the most conspicuous gangster ever!

You're thinking of Jimmy Car Horn Feet.

 

[gbb]

You're thinking of Jimmy Car Horn Feet.

It'd make a good thread in itself, nicknames....we had a guy at work with the most rotten set of teeth, like a row of black crooked tombstones...we called hinm Keith No Teeth

 

[Arch]

I only heard half the dialogue, as it was a chap on the phone next to me on the train:

Chap: Hello.
<>
Oh, is it?
<>
Is it smelling, yeah?
<>
Have you shut the doors?
<>
Right, yeah, don't worry, just keep the doors shut. Have you called Hendersons?
<>
And you told them there was smoke coming out?
<>
Yeah, right, ok, just shut the doors, and keep an eye on it.
<>
Yeah, right, well, I'll be there soon. Bye.

I'll never know what 'it' was!

 

[Psycolist]

Him: This is your forty-ninth donation. Thank you! Next time's party time; you'll get a certificate.
Me: Oh right ... can't wait.
Him: Steady on.

There could be so many replies to this post, but i'll just say BLOODY WELL DONE

 

[Psycolist]

It'd make a good thread in itself, nicknames....we had a guy at work with the most rotten set of teeth, like a row of black crooked tombstones...we called hinm Keith No Teeth

Our ex work colleague that springs to mind was one of lifes unfortunates. His first morning with us was spent at the stores desk waiting for a box of 3/8th holes and a long wait. He became known as 'ugly bruv'.

 

[Lanzecki]

"Yes I ride a bike, yes I wear all that lycra gear. No I don't Think I'm Cav (I wish). No it's not a fetish. Yes please abuse me for riding a bike I really enjoy it. Ohh you don't like cyclists because one swore at you once?"

Cool. Now we are clear that you are bigot, you still want me to fix your computer? Here's a bill. That's just been doubled.

 

[outlash]

Me: Hi, how are you today?

Customer: Tony, what are those?

Me: The ones in the gold packaging? Caramel Wafers.

Customer: What's in them?

Me: (bites tongue) erm..


Tony.

 

[thegravestoneman]

'You will have to wear leg warmers or something'

After riding the last three weekends in shorts I decided to get a pair of 'longs' my beloved on seeing me in my first pair of longs, laughing at my girlie ankles and not wanting to be associated with them.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Quite a chilly ride today to the cafe so when we overheard this in the Gents it raised a bit of a smile

"I've lost my little hand warmer"

Chap apparently had some sort of "technology" to fit in his glove.

 

[Herr-B]

The scene - at the hairdressers, nothing has been said about bikes, cycling, or any associated subjects.

The hairdresser next to mine 'I hate cyclists, but only when I'm driving a car. But when I'm on me bike I hate cars.'

My hairdresser - 'I cycle a lot on the pavement to keep away from cars, it's safer. But I drive a lot.'

Me - 'I am a cyclist and I'm saying nothing!' (out loud at least, my thoughts were very much vocal inside my head.)

 

[dellzeqq]

The scene - at the hairdressers, nothing has been said about bikes, cycling, or any associated subjects.

The hairdresser next to mine 'I hate cyclists, but only when I'm driving a car. But when I'm on me bike I hate cars.'

My hairdresser - 'I cycle a lot on the pavement to keep away from cars, it's safer. But I drive a lot.'

Me - 'I am a cyclist and I'm saying nothing!' (out loud at least, my thoughts were very much vocal inside my head.)

yeah, well, looking at your avatar I'd say that their cycling or non-cycling habits are the least of your problems....

In Peter Jones. Two women behind me in the haberdashery queue. There's a man in front, he' about sixty years old.

1st woman. 'That's Arsene Wenger'.
2nd woman. 'No it's not'.
'Arsene' looks round at me as if this is my fault. I see that he bears a superficial resemblance to Wenger except a) his face is different b)he's wearing one of the most tragic artificial fibre syrups you'll ever clap eyes on and c) at that very moment Arsenal are playing Aston Villa.
I shrug.
1st woman. 'Do you think he recognises us?'
2nd woman 'It's not him'

Go figure......it's beyond me.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Overheard in the swimming pool changing rooms...

'Sit on the bench and open your flaps'

 

[gbb]

So I dropped off my new (secondhand) car at the dealers to get some minor dinks repaired, I spy'd my old 57 plate Focus on the forecourt....hmmmm
When I got home...
'Hey, guess how much our old Focus is on sale for'
'Dunno, how much ?, we got just under £ 3k trade in for it didn't we ?
'A shade under £6K....hahaha, that's what I paid for it four years ago with 12K on the clock....they're taking the mick !!!
'Bloody hell, they're chancers aren't they ?'
'Thats business baby, I suppose if they don't sell it, they an easily reduce it and still make money'

I thought it was a wreck, dirty seats from work, a couple of fairly bad dings and light scratches, no service history, although it was fairly low on mileage....just goes to show what a good seeing to can do, right equipment, a bit of time and effort...shame I could never be bothered with the damn car.

 

[subaqua]

perhaps you need to remove his car keys from him now before he drives home.
(says the person who used to work in a bonded warehouse standing in neat spirits all day - spillages did not drain away and it was not uncommon to stand in 2 inches or more of neat vodka/whisky/gin and anything else... - great cure for athletes food, not so great for driving home or for the headaches after stopping working there, with the headaches and withdrawl symptons lasting more than 2 weeks for both myself and my husband!)

wow, just wow.

did you have the essential accesories of a tea strainer and filter paper. as long as the seal on the bottle wasn't broken HMRC were not overly fussed as they expect breakages. amazing how many people took flasks to work with them.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

did you have the essential accesories of a tea strainer and filter paper. as long as the seal on the bottle wasn't broken HMRC were not overly fussed as they expect breakages. amazing how many people took flasks to work with them.

Triple wowerer.