Give me some dialogue from your day

[Scoosh]

.....

Chicks dig scars.

Doesn't that make them hurt ?

 

[Hover Fly]

(He has a smashed cycle helmet, scratched glasses, a painful thumb, swollen hand, swollen face with abrasions and bruises to cheek, forehead and nose, painful ribs, cuts and bruises to elbows, hips and knees.)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but how's his bike?

 

[ColinJ]

Get well soon to him! I bet there was a part of you that slightly envied him though?

Only the part of me that wants to ride a bike. The part of me that would have wanted to fall off bikes was evidently still-born!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but how's his bike?

It must be okay because he got straight back on it and carried on his ride to work, and then rode round to see me after work! It's a singlespeed bike so there are no derailleurs sticking out to get bent or broken off.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

In response to me taking my jumper off in the office for the first time in months - "What's up? Pen getting heavy?".

 

[Herr-B]

At a christening on Sunday - the following was read:

Scripture: Mark 10:13-16
13 And they were bringing children to him, that he might touch them; and the disciples rebuked them. 14 But when Jesus saw it he was indignant, and said to them, "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 15 Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." 16 And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands upon them.

At the party afterwards I said to everyone, 'Did anyone else think he was talking about Jimmy Savile?', to everyone's relief - somebody had said what they were all thinking.

 

[jann71]

Lady at hotel reception im staying in this morning - ooh, thats a big bag! Pause. What's in it?
Me: my bike
Lady: does it fold
Me: no
Lady: would you like a hand with doors
Me: yes please

 

[Arch]

Me to volunteer at work: Oh, you're making a small mammal ramp for the pond?
Vol: Yes. Actually, can I have your advice?
Me: Yup, what is it?
Vol: Well the wooden board round the pond isn't exactly level at this point. Do I fit the ramp perfectly level across the top, but off from the level of the board, or fit it level with the board?
Me: Well... <looks> the board isn't very much off level (not really noticable with the naked eye), so I'd match the ramp to the board, so it doesn't look wonky. It won't be cambered much, and the little things will manage to get out fine.
Vol: Yeah, that makes sense.
Me: Anyway, if it was too much of a camber, you could fit handrails.
<pause>
Vol: You're joking aren't you?
Me: Yes, yes I am...

 

[TheDoctor]

Got home after my Sunday ride (padded tights on).. while hugging and kissing my OH:

Him: "good ride?"
Me: "Yup! Good fun.."
Him (lowering hands): "ooh! Babe! I think your nappy is full..!!!"

I know it was a bit cold, but eeeew...

 

[TheDoctor]

*accepts slap gracefully*

 

[gbb]

The wife often tells me of som e of the things at work with severely handicapped children, todays...
Child A is severely autistic but she has a good rapport with him (although she's taken some nasty bites, hairpulls and punches from him as well) She deals with him in a very fair but firm way, has a laugh with him, but knows when he's ramping up for a blow up or fit. Generally, he adores her and her absense from a class usually means trouble for the other TAs.
Today was 'choosing' day where they can elect to have two dinners, one dinner and a pudding or one dinner and one treat.
He's eaten his dinner, he's had his pudding....then he announces gleefully...'I'm having another pudding as a treat'

This is not allowed, they take the childrens diets seriously. A refusal can lead to disappointment, a tantrum, a full blown fight, kick, bite, tears..one or more or all of these things

'I'm having another pudding as a treat'
The wife gave him a look that infered no compromise
'I am, i'm having a pudding '
The wife pulled her chair a little closer, rested he chin on her hand .....'Really ?'
He thought about it......'No, only joking ......' with a sense of false bravado.

You never know how any interaction will go when they have thier mind set on something.

Despite that, i think she has the most rewarding job ive ever known.

 

[Night Train]

I was repairing the kitchen taps for my Dad this morning. The hot tap was fine but the cold tap wouldn't produce full flow. I had the cold valve body off and was about to dismantle it to give it a good clean.

Dad: I've changed the washer. It wasn't better.
Me: I can see, the washer is fine. I'm going to take it apart to clean it.
Dad: Just change it for the hot tap.
Me: Huh?
Dad: Swap it for the hot tap. It will be ok.
Me: No! Don't you ever repair anything properly?
Dad: But it will be easier.
Me: That will just mean you don't get flow in the hot tap! How would that be 'easier'?
Dad:
Me: I just need to take the valve apart and clean it. Where's all this rust come from? [Rhetorical question]
Dad: Well, it's wet in there!
Me: The tap and valve is all brass. This is rust, as in iron rust. Where did all the iron rust come from?
Dad: [Shrugs shoulders, walks away]

Me: Should be fine now. [turns on water, gets full flow.]

 

[Night Train]

While oiling the moving parts on Tiddles, the Brompton, and fitting the newly made socket on another bag...

Dad: Are you going out on the bike?
Me: No, just getting it ready.
Dad: So you're not going out on your bike.
Me: No, I'm going to York for the weekend.
Dad: What, now?
Me: No, tomorrow.
Dad: You're riding the bike to York tomorrow?
Me: No, I'm driving to York, like I always do.
Dad: I thought you were taking the bike.
Me: I am.
Dad: So you're riding it there.
Me: No, I ride it when I get there. It goes in the car!
Dad: Oh.

 

[Sandra6]

Me - What're you doing now?
Son - Staying out of your way!

 

[Speicher]

A female friend that I was in a café with: I do not usually worry about my nuts.

 

[Miss]

I'm newly single again and absolutely loving it best feeling ever getting rid off bad people