Give me some dialogue from your day

[Lullabelle]

Sat at my desk this morning, the phone rang

Me: Good morning........
P: Hi baby
Me: hello it's you
P: it is, I am not ill, can you please tell S I want to use up a day holiday, John is at home this week and I want to spend a sunny day with him
Me: sounds like a great idea
P: you can come and join us if you like
Me: where are you? I am on my way
P: I am at home but keep covered up, this is a homosexual house
Me: no problem, get the kettle on

 

[Lullabelle]

A loading bay door and wall were hit by a lorry a few days ago, engineering (not me though) attended, I do know contractors are booked in to assess and quote for repairs.
Area section leader approached me (we were not near the door at that moment..and asked me
'Is there anything we can do to make that door safe ?'
'Is it not safe then ? I will talk to my manager, see what was done and where we are....let's go have a look'

I looked at it, it all seems safe enough, blocked off with pallets, nothing is going to happen short of a hurricane.

'That's ok, I will get some hazard tape and put round the pallets, just for good measure '

And he replies...
'The engineers put hazard tape on it...i took it off because i needed some of the pallets...I've put them back now'


So instead of going and getting some he took the easy / lazy solution and actually made the area potentially unsafe...then remarks that something needs to be done to make it safe
(I suppose we should be happy he did at least say)
'Leave the pallets there bud and I will put some more haz tape round it...but don't take the pallets '

Strewth ...and that's a section leader

Sometimes common sense takes a day off

 

[pjd57]

Cycling up West Nile Street in Glasgow city centre today.
Brewery truck stops at the lights right over the ASL and almost up on the kerb ignoring the few metres of green paint.

Next set of lights, over the ASL again, but in the right hand lane, so I stopped beside him and point down and say " you're over the line and in the bike box"

Reply.... I stop at the line so c#@#s like you can't go in front of me....

 

[Katherine]

Cycling up West Nile Street in Glasgow city centre today.
Brewery truck stops at the lights right over the ASL and almost up on the kerb ignoring the few metres of green paint.

Next set of lights, over the ASL again, but in the right hand lane, so I stopped beside him and point down and say " you're over the line and in the bike box"

Reply.... I stop at the line so c#@#s like you can't go in front of me....

How vile.

 

[gbb]

Since our latest granddaughter (3) was born, it's become normal for them to come over for Sunday dinner and stay the afternoon. For some reason GD (3) has taken to feeding ME my pudding. She sits on my knee and spoon feeds me ...its hilarious.
Shes a character as well so the dialogue goes like this...
'Want some pudding (a kids yoghurt which was actually got out for her) grandad ?'
'No thanks, you eat it'
'No you eat it, my feed you' (her way of saying 'I feed you')
'No you eat it'
'No, you eat it grandad'
So she starts to spoon feed me...followed by the usual....
'Nice '
'Want some more ?' (like I get a choice )
'All finished ?'

I turned to her mum a few weeks ago and said...'give it 10 years, she might be doing this for real '

Edited to add, today she actually said...
'Here comes the aeroplane ' as she swung the spoon towards my mouth

 

[Maverick Goose]

Cycling up West Nile Street in Glasgow city centre today.
Brewery truck stops at the lights right over the ASL and almost up on the kerb ignoring the few metres of green paint.

Next set of lights, over the ASL again, but in the right hand lane, so I stopped beside him and point down and say " you're over the line and in the bike box"

Reply.... I stop at the line so c#@#s like you can't go in front of me....

What a glaikit wee bampot!

 

[Lullabelle]

We took our cat to the vet today for her annual check up and boosters. The vet put her on the scales

Vet: ok we need to talk about her weight, she is fat.

We do know this because we have had a constant struggle with her weight and have tried different biscuits supposedly aimed at weight loss. We bought a bag from the vet so we will see how she gets on with those.

 

[TheDoctor]

Hmm, 25 minutes until the local Lidl shuts ...

I'll resist the temptation - I've just made a mug of tea.

Pancakes are simple! 50g (two rounded tablespoons) flour, 150 ml (about 1/4 pint) of milk, and an egg. Mix to form a batter.
Get some oil nice and hot in your nice new pan, add enough batter to make your desired thickness of pancakey goodness.
Turn it over once it's cooked enough that you can turn it rather than spill it.
Add things to it and consume.
Don't make me come up there and show you how

 

[biggs682]

Time to go home and we all went Yippee

 

[srw]

"And I'm pregnant again"

I must have let my surprise show as I clocked the young couple with him pushing a pushchair for four toddlers *and* a baby in her arms.

 

[gbb]

Yesterday at work. Walking through a busy pack house to my next job, I happened to look up and see a young guy popping some grapes in his mouth while hes loading the line.....strictly strictly against the rules to eat the products we pack.
I wondered across and said as quietly and under the radar as I could...(to hopefully avoid embarrassing him)
'Mate, don't get caught doing that, you could get in big trouble ' (like sacked)

He smiled and got on...
New guy, agency, many dont have good English so occasionally dont understand the rules.

 

[Lullabelle]

Me to the cat after cleaning out her tray:

I bet that feels better

 

[Lullabelle]

My colleague: I can't drink water, it makes me gag
Me: but you can put a cancer stick in your mouth and inhale the toxins
My colleague: yes
Me:

 

[gbb]

My daughter walked in the front door, card in hand....
Me....
Her...
Me...
Me....shouting upstairs to my wife...
'Just popping down Tescos'
Daughter...

Christ, I'd forget my own funeral.

 

[bruce1530]

Cycling up West Nile Street in Glasgow city centre today.
Brewery truck
... I stop at the line so c#@#s like you can't go in front of me....

I’d be having a word with the brewery. Ideally via their social media accounts.