Give me some dialogue from your day

[Lullabelle]

On the bus this afternoon I sat next to a retired lady who was talking to a youngish woman on the seat infront, they clearly knew each other and after a while I got the impression the young woman with pink hair may have had a mental health issue because she was happy, smiling and talking to people she didn't know. They were discussing Christmas trees:

Pink hair to me: when are you putting yours up?
Me: we don't bother
Pink hair: why not, don't you believe in it?
Me: it isn't that, I just feel it is more for kids and we don't have any
Pink hair: so what will you be doing?
Retired lady: watching tv?
Me: no, we don't watch much
Pink hair: so you will be on your computer and phone?
Me: no, we will be out walking
Pink hair: what in the weather
Me and retired lady: yes, you can walk in any weather
Pink hair: oh ok

Retired lady then started telling me about her walking holidays in Crete, Austria and various other countries, made for an interesting trip.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Looks like we may be saddled with a few more of these.

Before we reign it in you mean?

 

[Threevok]

Noticing I have my right wrist strapped up in a support..

Colleague : I bet your sex life is suffering

Me : That's not the one I use. I can't hold my binoculars in my left hand

Colleague : *Speechless*

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

Noticing I have my right wrist strapped up in a support..

Colleague : I bet your sex life is suffering

Me : That's not the one I use. I can't hold my binoculars in my left hand

Colleague : *Speechless*

That is an epic comeback.

 

[Salty seadog]

Well, don't keep us all in suspense ... what IS the next up from that!

Are ace's high or low?

 

[dan_bo]

Colleague (On his way home from Belgium): What happens if we get kidnapped?

Me: Paul it's Belgium. FARC aren't active in Belgium last time I looked.

Paul: That's ridiculous. We should have protection.

Me: Paul we have Interpol for these occasions.

Paul: That's not good enough really.

Me: Puts phone down.

 

[colly]

Baked apples for pudding about 30mins ago.

Mrs C...............I put in some blackcurrants. From the freezer. Hope you like them.
Me....................Oh yes sounds good.
5 mins later after getting them out of the oven.
Me....................I think the over was a bit hot some of the currents have caramalised. They are cinder like.
Mrs C..............Never mind just eat the rest. The ones inside will be ok
2 mins later.
Me.....................These aren't blackcurrants.
Mrs C...............What are they then?
Me.....................Black beans
Mrs C................Oh well they'll be ok. Taste ok to me.

 

[Lullabelle]

This afternoon my 3 female colleagues were discussing when to put the Christmas tree up in the office.

S H: shall we put it up next week?
S D: how about next Friday?
S H: too late, it will only be up for a couple of weeks
S C: how about next Monday?
Me: how about December 20th?
SH, SD, SC: boo humbug!

 

[Profpointy]

Noticing I have my right wrist strapped up in a support..

Colleague : I bet your sex life is suffering

Me : That's not the one I use. I can't hold my binoculars in my left hand

Colleague : *Speechless*

In a similar vein some years back there was a reasonably serious meeting at work to agree a contentious technical strategy. One of the managers came in with his wrist in plaster. Another fairly senior guy asked "what happened to your arm?" Sensing mischief or a set up, he got in the pre-emptive defence "w&@)ing accident" Quick as a flash, the follow up question "did the tweezers slip?". I felt privilaged to be working with people that sharp it must be said

 

[Threevok]

In a similar vein some years back there was a reasonably serious meeting at work to agree a contentious technical strategy. One of the managers came in with his wrist in plaster. Another fairly senior guy asked "what happened to your arm?" Sensing mischief or a set up, he got in the pre-emptive defence "w&@)ing accident" Quick as a flash, the follow up question "did the tweezers slip?". I felt privilaged to be working with people that sharp it must be said

Class

A very dear friend of mine once hijacked someone's joke in the pub - about why it takes men with glasses longer to W****

After the punchline he replied - "but I don't wear glasses in the bath!"

 

[kapelmuur]

Overheard while I was browsing in my LBS.

Customer.”Can you fix my bike, I’ve not been able to ride it for 3 months”.

Mechanic. “What’s wrong with it?”

Customer. “It’s got a puncture”.

 

[Lullabelle]

We have just been to Tesco for a couple of bits, they were playing Christmas records obviously and while we were in there it was Slade.

Me to employee: don't you get fed up with listening to this every day

Employee: to be honest after a while I just switch off

Me: fair enough

 

[ColinJ]

We have just been to Tesco for a couple of bits, they were playing Christmas records obviously and while we were in there it was Slade.

Me to employee: don't you get fed up with listening to this every day

Employee: to be honest after a while I just switch off

Me: fair enough

I did a factory night shift for a year and one of my co-workers insisted on playing the entire Bat Out Of Hell album 3 times a night on his huge portable stereo. Meatloaf may tell you that '2 out of 3 aint bad', but played loud in the middle of the night over 600 times I can assure you that it bloody well IS!

 

[Lullabelle]

I did a factory night shift for a year and one of my co-workers insisted on playing the entire Bat Out Of Hell album 3 times a night on his huge portable stereo. Meatloaf may tell you that '2 out of 3 aint bad', but played loud in the middle of the night over 600 times I can assure you that it bloody well IS!

I sympathise with you. I like Meatloaf but....

 

[skudupnorth]

Had these crazy critters to keep me busy