Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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While out walking yesterday.
4 year old grandson Joshua: You are 76 aren't you grandad?
Me: No. I'm 67
Joshua: So you are the oldest
Me: No Aunty Margaret is the oldest.
Joshua: How old is Margaret?
Me: 77.
Joshua: 77???? What the heck ?
I've no idea where he gets stuff from.
I thought he was about to come out with the F word
4 year old grandson Joshua: You are 76 aren't you grandad?
Me: No. I'm 67
Joshua: So you are the oldest
Me: No Aunty Margaret is the oldest.
Joshua: How old is Margaret?
Me: 77.
Joshua: 77???? What the heck ?
I've no idea where he gets stuff from.
I thought he was about to come out with the F word
mustang1
Legendary Member
- Location
- London, UK
Was in a bike shop the other day and a customer was in the middle of complaining to the mechanic. I think the customer wanted to get something done on her bike but the mechanic had a schedule to keep while servicing other bikes.
Customer: I don't understand why you can't do this, it only takes 5 minutes.
Mechanic: If you think it takes 5 minutes then I can sell you the part and you can do it yourself.
Customer: But I don't know how to.
Mechanic: Then how do you know it takes 5 minutes?
I really wanted that to continue but then the manager came along to diffuse things.
Customer: I don't understand why you can't do this, it only takes 5 minutes.
Mechanic: If you think it takes 5 minutes then I can sell you the part and you can do it yourself.
Customer: But I don't know how to.
Mechanic: Then how do you know it takes 5 minutes?
I really wanted that to continue but then the manager came along to diffuse things.
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Not todays but recent....
A bit of background. I'm lucky enough, much to the annoyance of my colleagues, to have a Monday to Friday, 7.00 to 3.30 shift...lovely.
My colleagues do a 4 on 4 off, 12 hour shift, rolling, so they often do weekends as well. There's often a lot of banter about how lucky I am and they don't miss an opportunity to remind me. Anyway, 2 dialogues lately...
Me to my colleagues over a coffee break....sounding serious as I started...
'Yeah, finished work yesterday...went home, walked the dog, made tea, went for a 15 mile bike ride, home, had a bath and when I'd finished'...(they were listening intently at this point....i continued....' I looked at the clock....AND YOU WERE STILL AT WORK '
Expletives followed from my colleagues
Today they were working in the workshop some distance from me. A delivery driver came in at 14.00 hrs ish and we were exchanging pleasantries, he asked...
'Good day mate ?..hows it going ?'
'Not too bad actually'.....and raising my voice loud enough to ensure my colleagues would hear, I continued...
'NEARLY FINISHED FOR TODAY...but keep your voice down for Chrissakes Dave, they get dead shirty y'know ' (nodding towards my colleagues)
Colleague looked up and said...
'You could easy fall out with some people
'
A bit of background. I'm lucky enough, much to the annoyance of my colleagues, to have a Monday to Friday, 7.00 to 3.30 shift...lovely.
My colleagues do a 4 on 4 off, 12 hour shift, rolling, so they often do weekends as well. There's often a lot of banter about how lucky I am and they don't miss an opportunity to remind me. Anyway, 2 dialogues lately...
Me to my colleagues over a coffee break....sounding serious as I started...
'Yeah, finished work yesterday...went home, walked the dog, made tea, went for a 15 mile bike ride, home, had a bath and when I'd finished'...(they were listening intently at this point....i continued....' I looked at the clock....AND YOU WERE STILL AT WORK '
Expletives followed from my colleagues
Today they were working in the workshop some distance from me. A delivery driver came in at 14.00 hrs ish and we were exchanging pleasantries, he asked...
'Good day mate ?..hows it going ?'
'Not too bad actually'.....and raising my voice loud enough to ensure my colleagues would hear, I continued...
'NEARLY FINISHED FOR TODAY...but keep your voice down for Chrissakes Dave, they get dead shirty y'know ' (nodding towards my colleagues)
Colleague looked up and said...
'You could easy fall out with some people
'I have had similar conversations with
skudupnorth
Cycling Skoda lover
- Location
- Astley,Manchester
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Must be one of your neighbours.
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
The recent photos are nice, but you haven't told us what you and the animals have been saying to each other!View attachment 439195 Couldn’t ride the bike today because I was Dad taxi including dropping off child number two to horse riding. Whilst I was there I got a fuss off one of the critters
skudupnorth
Cycling Skoda lover
- Location
- Astley,Manchester
We put the world to rightsThe recent photos are nice, but you haven't told us what you and the animals have been saying to each other!
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Hay! You could shout that until you are hoarse.
Kempstonian
Has the memory of a goldfish
- Location
- Bedford
It doesn't seem to be working mate!We put the world to rights
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Careful this could gallop away from us
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Plenty more to trot out.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Looks like we may be saddled with a few more of these.
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
Friend: I'm just phoning to say that I don't have time to talk now so I will phone you in an hour or so.
Me: I wasn't expecting you to call me until later anyway.
Friend: I am too busy at the moment...
Me: So why are we still talking about NOT talking! 
Me: I wasn't expecting you to call me until later anyway.
Friend: I am too busy at the moment...
Me: So why are we still talking about NOT talking!
