Give me some dialogue from your day

[Vantage]

Sat outside Tesco drinking my tea while on a group ride on Monday. A little girl walks by with her mum while admiring how gorgeous my bike was.
"Look at that really old bike mummy."
"Yes sweetie it looks really old doesn't it?"


Oh well.

 

[fted33]

Spoke to my Ma, "Your sister is off to Abba ca dabi". took me a while to work that one out.

 

[gbb]

Morning production meeting with maybe 10 people in attendance covering the various depts. Various KPIs are discussed, one of them being available pallet spaces.
Its already below the set minimum KPI so up for discussion..
Manager to warehouse section leader...
'OK, so we know we're already below the agreed minimum , at what point do we start panicking ?'
Section Leader....
'2 days ago'

Cue outburst of laughter from all meeting participants...

 

[AndyRM]

Spoke to my Ma, "Your sister is off to Abba ca dabi". took me a while to work that one out.

Magician school?

 

[fted33]

Magician school?

apparently Abu Dhabi but knowing my mother it is probably the magician school

 

[MossCommuter]

Disembodied voice from behind a hedge: "It's a farking bicycle you prick"

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Having a chat with a young colleague, a student that cycles a few miles here and there, mainly utilitarian, on a standard hybrid.
I am the work's "cycling expert"
Dave the electrician, sleek roadie, walks in pushing his carbon.
Young Colleague:
Ohh, look at him, a real cyclist, isn't he ...
Me:
Aye, our Dave is a roadie.
YC:
Ohh, what's that sticking out of his back?
Me:
Well, roadies have light bikes that don't have fitting for rack and panniers, they carry the minimum, what they carry is in the back pockets of their cycling jersey.
YC:
I just use my rucksack ...
YC:
What are those shoes he's got on? Are those the proper cycling shoes?
Me:
Aye, they are called SPD-L, they clip into the pedals, as you can see they are not designed for walking.
YC:
Ohhhh ....

 

[Lullabelle]

I work with Sarah D and Sarah H

Today:

Sarah H: just been across the road, you wouldn't believe what I had to promise to get stuff from them, cake, chocolate, biscuits...

Sarah D: It's not as though there are any decent looking blokes over there, but then there aren't any in general especially not in here

Me: I have to disagree with you

Sarah D: Why, who do you fancy in here?

Me: No words, I just pointed to my wedding ring

Sarah D: oh yeah.

 

[gbb]

We're sat round the dinner table yesterday, wife and myself, son, his partner and two grandkids (who were thankfully too young to understand what was coming) , the discussion somehow ended up with my son explaining how his partner has a cupboard full of her junk...he said...
'Its a bit like a man cave in there, full of her stuff'
Without thinking I replied...
'Aha, a lady cave then ? .....errrr...........no, that's not going to work is it '

Cue sniggers from the ladies present.

 

[Arjimlad]

Dear XXXX

I do hope you have had a nice lunch.

I am reliably informed that the recently-attended-to Ladies Toilet in (our office) is not flushing with sufficient force to clear even a modest lady-wee from the pan.

Would you mind asking one of your operatives to attend again and this time come with the right, er, frame of mind, to perform a fully loaded live-firing test of the flushing function, so to speak ?

I love my job.

 

[gbb]

The phone in the workshop rang..
''Colin, I need you on line 6'
'What's the problem ?'
'Something to do with the cutter '
'Ok, I'll bring a spare, be there in 5 minutes'
And so i set off...430 steps later I arrive, look at the machine, it's the screw that holds the cutter that's the problem.
' I need to go back to the workshop, I havnt got one of them here '

So 430 steps back...get some screws. 430 steps back to line 6, fit the screw.....and walk 430 steps back to the workshop.

A 30 second job probably took me 15 minutes.

 

[Salty seadog]

Disembodied voice from behind a hedge: "It's a farking bicycle you prick"

Some context please.

 

[gbb]

A plaintiff call from the kitchen as my 2 YO granddaughter walked through...
'Nanny, Shrek get wet '

She almost ran to the washing machine to recover her Shrek cuddly toy that my wife had put in there because the dog had slobbered all over it.

Not so much dialogue but we had to convince her it would stay somewhere safe until she came back next time .

 

[NorthernDave]

"Don't you dare tell anyone that I caught a bus home"

 

[perplexed]

In the supermarket...

T'old lass: 'Yer want yer spray'.

T'old fella: 'Tha what?'

T'old lass: 'Tha wants sum spray!'

T'old fella: 'Do Ah?'

T'old lass: 'Ah, tha does...'

T'old fella: 'What's tha onna abaht?'

T'old lass: 'Tha needs sum spray'

T'old fella:' Ah dun't know whah tha means'

T'old lass: 'Tha spray...tha needs sum spray for thi infected tooers...'

T'old fella: 'Ahh, tha reight, ah duz...'