Give me some dialogue from your day

[ColinJ]

I met up with @shirokazan today in Leighton Buzzard. I was visiting my sister and he had mentioned that he lived nearby. We went to a local cafe for coffee, cake, and a chat. Afterwards ...

Young woman at till: Are you paying separately?

shirokazan: No, together - I'll get this ...

ColinJ: Oh, thanks a lot - if you come oop north for one of my rides I'll treat you!

 

[gavgav]

To be fair he didn't claim to be a qualified meteorologist

True, I think his qualification should be in creating dramatic newspaper headlines for the Daily Express!

 

[shirokazan]

@ColinJ well, I couldn't have you visit my neck of woods and not show some hospitality! :-) Anyhow, it was a pleasure to have met up with you.

 

[gbb]

DIL has just passed her test a few days ago and has a little Pug 206, she explained....
'I came back from ×××× yesterday evening, he told me I've got a brake light out'
'You gotta get it fixed proto, you'll get a ticket in no time if the police see it'
'Ooooh, is it a big job?'
'Nah, give us your keys, I'll have a look and do it for you'

I wandered back after looking at it...
'You want a 12v 21/5 watt offset pin lamp'
'...you lost me after 12 volt...I hadn't got a clue what you're talking about '

Half an hour later and 69p...job done.

 

[Sandra6]

I went out with a few of my Halfords buddies last night and was telling them I'd had a lunch date with A, another of the team
J - oh, I had a lunch date with A
me - did you?
J -well it wasn't quite a lunch date, it was lunch time but we just walked round town and I had a sausage roll.

 

[numbnuts]

Me - In the name of the Father........
JC - .........

 

[gbb]

I'm telling my mum (87l about a Zimbabwean I've been working with and the violent history he has been telling me about its transition from Rhodesia to Zimbabwe. Dad served in Rhodesia in the 60s so mum has some personal interest. It prompted mum to relate something dark from her past...
Mum...
'I went out with a Polish chap when I was 15, right at the end of the war'
'I never knew that mum'
'His name was Janek (I think), they were in a camp near Awlnick...they sent them back after the war. He told me he would come back within 10 years and marry me but i met your dad and we got married of course. Theres a Polish lady in our residence....we were talking about that time, she explained they were all probably shot as soon as they got back to Poland by the Soviets'
'Jesus mum, it was probably true...the Soviets considered anyone who had been a POW or had visited or self exiled in the West was an enemy of the state. They were either sent to the gulag or killed....shocking really

 

[Threevok]

Me to my son after he was nasty to his sister - "I think you have anger issues" to which he replies "my shoes aren't angry silly - just muddy"

 

[Lullabelle]

Me yesterday: we still have a bottle of red in the cupboard, I will take it upstairs to put in the wine rack

TVC: see what kind of day you have tomorrow, you might need it

Me: tomorrow may well be a 2 bottle

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

Me, wife and daughter sitting in lounge with Deadenders on TV.

Wife: Graham. Can you turn it up a bit.
Me: No need. I'm sure they'll start shouting and screaming at each other soon.
Daughter: <snort> I knew you'd say that!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Me: what we're we talking about?
Mrs 3BM: where did I leave my glasses?

Must be an age thing and we're not even old...

 

[gbb]

Me to my wife who I suspect was being deliberately obtuse...bear in mind we have a fun but combative nature between ourselves...
'Where are you ducks, is it worth walking the dog to meet you, even if you're only 5 minutes away ?'
'In on blah blah street....she replied.
'Where abouts on blah blah street ?'
'Walking alongside the road '

I'm getting slightly irked now...
'Yeah I know...but where are you exactly?'
'In on the path now'
'Which path ?????? All I need to know is where you are, blah blah road is about a mile long'
She gave me half a clue and off I set with the dog to meet here....on seeing her, we said our hi's and I continued..?
'Jeez, it's like pulling teeth...all I wanted to know was where you were .'

'I know....wound you up like a goodun didn't I ' she smirked

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

Mrs Marmion <we are both in the bakers>: Do you want a cake?
Me: Yes, that one looks nice. I'll have one of them <points to a very nice looking cakey thing>
Mrs M <to me>: I don't have enough money to buy you a cake.
Mrs M <to shop person>: I'l have one of those and one of those...(the latter "those" one being for younger Marmionette)
Me: why did you ask?
Mrs M: you never have a cake...
Me <to shop person as Mrs M pays and walks out>:

Two hours later...

Mrs M: Have you eaten the cakes I bought?
Me: Yes.

 

[Flyingblind]

Wife had gone for a lie down so I took our boisterous boy to the park. Left her a text to let her know.

Me. Gone to park.

Her. Ok

Me. Let me know what time you want him back.

Her. As long as it's in time for school tomorrow.

Me. Very funny. He's found a friend so I'm having a relaxing time on eBay looking for more bike bits.

Her. Oh really? Well, I'm hoovering.

Me. That's what I like to hear. The Little Woman at home with a Hoover.

Half an hour has passed without a response so I'm wondering if it's safe to go back.

 

[swee'pea99]

Wife had gone for a lie down so I took our boisterous boy to the park. Left her a text to let her know.

Me. Gone to park.

Her. Ok

Me. Let me know what time you want him back.

Her. As long as it's in time for school tomorrow.

Me. Very funny. He's found a friend so I'm having a relaxing time on eBay looking for more bike bits.

Her. Oh really? Well, I'm hoovering.

Me. That's what I like to hear. The Little Woman at home with a Hoover.

Half an hour has passed without a response so I'm wondering if it's safe to go back.

I'd give it maybe 18 months or so?