Give me some dialogue from your day

[GrumpyGregry]

"You've resigned?"
"Yep. I've resigned."
"Oh feck. Oh fecking feckitty feck. Does that mean I'll be reporting to so-and-so?"
"From nn/nn/nn, yep."
"Can I resign too?"
"Nope, you have to stay here and carry on doing your job"
"Oh feck"

There was a lot more swearing but this is a family show.

 

[EatSleepRideRepeat]

"....and I'll just lift this end into the car"
"nnng...."
"are you OK?"
"Oh yes, fine. No really, fine. It's nothing, just a bruise. Well a sort of scrape. Oh, there's blood. Oh...."
"you wash it clean, I'll get a plaster. You'd better sit here you look pale. Bollocks"

 

[Spinney]

"....and I'll just lift this end into the car"
"nnng...."
"are you OK?"
"Oh yes, fine. No really, fine. It's nothing, just a bruise. Well a sort of scrape. Oh, there's blood. Oh...."
"you wash it clean, I'll get a plaster. You'd better sit here you look pale. Bollocks"

Which one was you? Are you better now?

 

[EatSleepRideRepeat]

Slight delay, I've just got back from A+E
"nurse......................Nurse..............................NURSE"
"what's all the fuss here?"
"He's passed out, and there's blood"
"get the screens, and call the duty doctor"
"Oh god, patch him up he's fine, I wanna get home..............ooooooo, stitches, nice job, hardly notice them next to your eyebrow"
"..eurgh nng ffeell a bit siiick"
"I think I'd better drive you home"

 

[TVC]

"Can I have a bleeding from the anus 99?

 

[jhawk]

Just now, I'm doing dishes. But have dried some so as to free up some space on the drying rack. There's a frying pan and a chopping board left out to wash in a second. Dad throws the chopping board and frying pan into the sink together - I wanted to wash one and dry one, then wash one and dry the other - separately!

"You missed this and this."

"I HAVE A SYSTEM, OKAY!"

 

[Dave 123]

Tim- it would be nice this time of year in Columbia "
Me- oh, really?
Max- only if you're a drug dealer
Me- what's columbia got to do with anything?
Tim- you know, where the Lake District is....
Max and I on the floor laughing....
Me- would that be Cumbria?
Tim- oh, have I made a mistake?

 

[jhawk]

Tim- it would be nice this time of year in Columbia "
Me- oh, really?
Max- only if you're a drug dealer
Me- what's columbia got to do with anything?
Tim- you know, where the Lake District is....
Max and I on the floor laughing....
Me- would that be Cumbria?
Tim- oh, have I made a mistake?

Is Tim one of those people that is destined to be culled by GPS?

 

[Ganymede]

My sister almost went into meltdown trying to explain to a robotic call-centre operative that the reason that our dead mother was not cancelling her own account was .. that SHE IS DEAD! The same answer kept coming back, along the lines of - "I'm sorry, I can't discuss this with you unless your mother comes to the phone and authorises you to speak on her behalf" ...

This happened to a friend of mine when her mum died. She took to phoning up her Mum's suppliers etc pretending to be her mum and cancelling everything. Her mother had left her all the details and her passwords.

 

[stephec]

"....and I'll just lift this end into the car"
"nnng...."
"are you OK?"
"Oh yes, fine. No really, fine. It's nothing, just a bruise. Well a sort of scrape. Oh, there's blood. Oh...."
"you wash it clean, I'll get a plaster. You'd better sit here you look pale. Bollocks"

To you, to me.

 

[Mandragora]

So. The Year 11 kids roped me into the 'Greased Lightning' dance. Choreography instructions went as follows:
'Miss? No, miss, you stand at the back. There. No, not at the front. You can be one of the men. Have you got some black jeans and some boots like a man would wear and a leather jacket? Good. Bring them on Monday. And remember, when you're dancing, stay at the back'.

Not really a dialogue, I know, but there were replies running through my head!

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Me to my OH : at some point today could you have a look at your Amazon wish list please?
Oh: why?
Me:

Pause, he thinks, fails... Still looking mystified

Me : Christmas

Oh: <silence>

Me thinking:

 

[IDMark2]

Daughter, as we're travelling North up the M5... Dad, haven't you got a Satnav?
No, I was a sales rep, this was my patch so I know where we're going.
D: Mum's terrible at directions...
I know, I was married to her you know.
D: We were going to see Aunty Marion in Newport, we were going for hours and there were signs for Manchester. We had to turn around eventually, I said Mum you're terrible, you've missed a whole country...

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

OH to a dozy me: how's the morphine? Good vintage?
Me: better than the chat up lines around here

 

[IDMark2]

So I live near Exeter but last week I was 230 miles away in Cardigan, home of the howies clothing brand. We went into Cardigan town centre looking for their shop, gave up after walking up and down the town and asked in the end... 'Oh, my son works for them' said the lady in the Cafe, 'They moved their factory to Carmarthen down the road and have opened a new shop.'
So where's the new shop I asked
'Exeter.'