Give me some dialogue from your day

[Speicher]

A N Other: What is the vat on £2.900?
Me: after working it out in my head (290 plus 145 plus 72.50 equals .... )just over £500

A N Other: No, it isn't its (uses calculator) £165.71

Me: Did you divide by 17.5 rather than multiply by 17.5????

 

[Cheddar George]

A N Other: What is the vat on £2.900?
Me: after working it out in my head (290 plus 145 plus 72.50 equals .... )just over £500

A N Other: No, it isn't its (uses calculator) £165.71

Me: Did you divide by 17.5 rather than multiply by 17.5????

20 works better.

 

[Lullabelle]

20 works better.

I thought 20% was the going rate this year

 

[Lanzecki]

This is ireland. €50 per visit to a GP.

Doc decides that the wife needs an MRI scan. As there is a 4-6 month waiting list we go private for a scan to the place the Doc suggested. €250. The results get sent to the doc directly.

Today the wife called the Doc and speaks to the secretary "Yes, the results have been here since the 31st. The Doc is very busy, She will get to look at them by Friday".

Myself and the wife jumped in the car and went to the Doc's. "We'd like my results" the wife started with.
Secretary "I told you, the doc won't get to look at them before Friday"
Wife : "But the Doc told me I needed an urgent scan. You've had the results since the 31st. it wouldn't take her 5 mins to at least tell me if I have 6 months to live (Semi Jokingly)"
Secretary "I'm sorry I cannot help you, the doc is with patents all day"
Wife "They are my results"
Secretary "I cannot give results to patents. They are confidential" We can see the doubt in her face.
Wife "Exactly. And since they are my results that I paid for, here is the receipt, you need to give them to me now. Or do you want another €50" She asks getting loud.
Secretary "Back in a mo"
5 mins later she returns "The doc will see you now Mrs. Lanzecki."

 

[Ganymede]

Getting up a bit late:

Me: What time is it?
OH: A quarter to nine.
Me: Shall we hang our knickers on the line?
OH: I feel we should wait until the more traditional 9.30.
Me: OK.

 

[Speicher]

20 works better.

I thought 20% was the going rate this year

Um yes, you are both right. I offer my apolologies.

Which means I would still be able to work it out in my head, quicker that some people using a calculator.

Vat on £3000 would be ... £600 less the vat on £100 is... £580.

 

[Lullabelle]

Um yes, you are both right. I offer my apolologies.

Which means I would still be able to work it out in my head, quicker that some people using a calculator.

Vat on £3000 would be ... £600 less the vat on £100 is... £580.

I use a calculator, that way if I am wrong then I can blame technology

 

[Lanzecki]

I employ people to do the sums for me. I just get told to sign a cheque now and again.

 

[gbb]

Colleague 1...'bloody hell, whatcha done to your hand'
'Dislocated me finger '
'How did you do that ?'
'I fell off my bike'
Colleague... 'you need stabilisers'
Me.....'yeah yeah, fill yer boots '

and three other people asked...got the answer, made more or less the same comments..with much mirth

Note to self....
Perhaps i will explain the actual reason..skidded on wet leaves, it makes me sound less like a 6 year old who 'fell off his bike '

 

[jhawk]

So, Dad's laptop's power supply is faulty, every time the cable moves a bit - it shuts off. The two dogs were milling around him (and standing on the cable) this morning.

Dad: "NO! Go away! Don't step on it! We'll have you both put down! We can turn you both into rugs!"
Me: "Well, not Dave. More of a bath mat, he's only a little fella."

 

[Speicher]

@gbb

Your post reminds me of many dialogues some years ago. I had a splinter under the nail of my left thumb, but did not realise the splinter was there. When I woke up one morning with an arm that was purple, green and all shades inbetween, and that my fingers were very swollen, I went to A and E. The next day I had an operation to remove the nail and some damaged nerves in the thumb, and was told to keep my arm in a sling for ten days.

People who saw me with the sling asked what I had done to my arm. Of course when I told them I had a splinter removed from my finger, they all and did not believe me until they saw the size of the bandage on my hand.

 

[Spinney]

Colleague 1...'bloody hell, whatcha done to your hand'
'Dislocated me finger '
'How did you do that ?'
'I fell off my bike'
Colleague... 'you need stabilisers'
Me.....'yeah yeah, fill yer boots '

and three other people asked...got the answer, made more or less the same comments..with much mirth

Note to self....
Perhaps i will explain the actual reason..skidded on wet leaves, it makes me sound less like a 6 year old who 'fell off his bike '

It might make you sound like a train...

 

[swee'pea99]

Just getting ready to go out in my rather dashing trench coat/Mad Men grey hat combo...

Youngest: You look like a psychopath from the '50s
Me: Thank you darling. Munchkin major said I look like Gadget Man. I have no idea what that means.
Y: You do look like Gadget Man.
Me: Thank you. I shall take that as a compliment.
Y (in deadly earnest): It's not meant as a compliment.
Me: Doesn't mean I can't take it as one...

 

[perplexed]

Mrs. Perplexed comes home from work...

Me: 'Why are you clutching the cardboard centre from an expired bog-roll?'

Mrs. P.: 'Well, this morning I had my mobile in one hand and the empty bog-roll in the other. I meant to put this into the re-cycling...'

Me: 'Ah, does that mean...?'

Mrs. P.: 'Yes, I can't reach the bottom of the bin. Can you get my mobile out of there please...?'

 

[swee'pea99]

Munchkin minor to munchkin major after the latter has been in her face about homework...

"You're turning into mum. That's it! You're mum! I now have two mothers! This is a nightmare!"