Getting slightly creeped out by something

[Night Train]

I think that even as a sales man he is being too forward. He has been asking to meet up when he hasn't even had an expression of interest in the product. He should be offering to forward information if requested and then following up with arranging a demonstration of the product to to the organisation if an interest is expressed. His persistence in arranging to meet seems over zealous for a professional.

When I applied for a new mortgage on my house to fund my business venture the chap dealing with me at the bank started off friendly enough asking about my lifestyle and interests, as they do. As negotiations progressed over several meetings he began suggesting that perhaps we should meet up for a drink after work sometime. Each time I made my excuses politely as I felt dependent on him progressing my application but he became quite persistent finding events that I would be interested in and suggesting we meet and visit these events. Even though I am a bloke this was making me feel quite uncomfortable.
Eventually my mortgage was agreed and I immediately went to have a chat with the bank manager. She was quite alarmed by her staff's actions and stopped him from being my personal banking advisor and had a disciplinary meeting with him. It was felt that his attempts at arranging social interaction with banking clients during bank business was wholly inappropriate.

 

[ColinJ]

I've had women send me all sorts of odd message including a student from the States who briefly bombarded me with semi-naked photos and details of her life.

There's a business forum I go on where a man has just had that same problem. I know some men might not see it as a problem but he certainly did. I would too - I've seen 'Play Misty For Me' and 'Fatal Attraction' !

 

[Night Train]

I had (and probably still have) a stalker. She is probably reading this as I type it.

When I last tried internet dating she joined the same site I was on soon after and her profile appeared on my search matching my search criteria. She also used to stalk me on forums and pm comments to me about my posts and tell me about things I had done on my house.

 

[sloe]

Bonj wrote

If there weren't any men who "think that a woman is up for it unless told otherwise" then the human race would die out. Fact.

Rape as our defining Darwinian imperative, past, present and future?

I'm doomed.

 

[yenrod]

Does this sound creepy to you?

A while ago I appeared on TV as part of a midlands today set of mini reports on the surveillance society. In one of the mini reports featured me as a talking head, and in another section a company which designs and sells unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs).

Blokey from the UAV company has emailed me several times since, offering various things, but each of them involves a suggestion to meet up with me. Could he come to one of my lectures and demo his product? Could he come to my place of work and demo the product? etc. It's completely obvious from how I have described my line of work that I am not going to buy a load of UAVs. Moreover I don't lecture. Now he has just emailed suggesting that he wants to meet up with me to discuss some industry developments he has heard of. Every communication from him comes with an unnecessary suggestion to meet up. He could just give me a call, for example. My phone number is on my email signature.

It's starting to creep me out. He's an invaluable contact and actually I could involve him in future events I am organizing, but it's starting to feel weird. I have been polite but firm so far...!

Nobody needs to reply to this thread but I posted it because I'm feeling quite odd right now.

Maybe he likes birds who drink pints

Kirstie'sthought

yenrod:

 

[bonj2]

Bonj wrote


Rape as our defining Darwinian imperative, past, present and future?

I'm doomed.

No no rape, twit, i'm just making the correct point that if every man went around assuming that every woman was already married then nobody would ever actually end up marrying and/or reproducing.

 

[Kirstie]

I'm staggered by the arrogance of Kirstie around this subject. As I said earlier, he is probaby just under pressure and wants to get a sale or someone who has been on tv to endorse his product.

I am registered with a sales recruitment agency, the girl who deals with me rings me daily, sometimes twice, has suggested I pop into the office if I am ever in the town. I don't think she is stalking me, she just wants me to take a job so she can bag the £2k placement bonus.

Like Kirstie herself said, business is business, and he wants her business whyever bring in some spurious stalking allegation. Get over it.

And I am staggered by your comment. How on earth did you manage to conclude that I am arrogant?

I post a thread saying nobody needs to reply, with some tentative thoughts about a situation I am finding strange. I have actually been polite to the person in question. I am perfectly willing to accept that this person might want to secure sales but as I have clearly stated that I don't want to buy his product what am I supposed to think? People offer their opinions, give me advice, tell me what to do, I respond, and now i'm arrogant?

Get a life. And while you're at it you can apologise for insulting me.

 

[Flying_Monkey]

I'm staggered by the arrogance of Kirstie around this subject. As I said earlier, he is probaby just under pressure and wants to get a sale or someone who has been on tv to endorse his product.

I am registered with a sales recruitment agency, the girl who deals with me rings me daily, sometimes twice, has suggested I pop into the office if I am ever in the town. I don't think she is stalking me, she just wants me to take a job so she can bag the £2k placement bonus.

Like Kirstie herself said, business is business, and he wants her business whyever bring in some spurious stalking allegation. Get over it.

I don't think anything entitles User76 to call my friend Kirstie 'arrogant' and to tell her to 'get over it'. This is not only wrong, it is also sexist and belittling, and reflects the same culture of male arrogance as the creepy actions of the man in question.

 

[Crackle]

FM I don't think there's any call for name calling and User76 you're are singularly failing to live up to your signature. Re-read Kirsties post again, you've missed the point entirely.

I think apologies allround might just calm the rhetoric. If you've nothing constructive to say, then say nothing.

 

[Flying_Monkey]

FM I don't think there's any call for name calling and User76 you're are singularly failing to live up to your signature. Re-read Kirsties post again, you've missed the point entirely.

I think apologies allround might just calm the rhetoric. If you've nothing constructive to say, then say nothing.

Correct - duly altered to make a point rather than an insult.

 

[Arch]

Secondly, in my opinion I'd continue to act professionally, and not get personal with it. Like you say, your personal life is none of his business. This is a professional relationship and you shouldn't have to even consider rebuffing him. This way, on the off-chance that it's just one of his sales pitches, you won't embarrass yourself either.

I think for the sake of getting a message across, if that's what is needed, whether it's none of his business takes second place to making sure he knows the score. In Kirstie's position (not that sort of thing happens to me...) I'd make up a husband if I thought it would shut him up. High moral positions about what one should and shouldn't have to do sometimes need to give way to getting something sorted...