Favourite Insults

[Punkawallah]

It's cock womble, which is a polite way of calling somebody a f*** muppet.

Yer. That would be me attempting humour . . .
Oh, well. The day job awaits.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

My ‘go to’ insult
If it can get past the BBC censors for James May to use

Not wishing too fall foul of the swear filter I'll leave this here:


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[Richard A Thackeray]

I actually got told to stop calling people Muppets at work
Whether the Manager had fond childhood memories of Jim Hensons creations, l have no idea, & she didn’t want to see them slandered?

 

[wiggydiggy]

This one is mine, I've been told to stop using it.

 

[Yellow Fang]

When I was at school a favourite insult going round was, "If I had a face like yours, I'd teach my arse to speak."

 

[Moon bunny]

“Are you stupid?”
”No”
”Well you must have missed a lot of school”

 

[presta]

Winston, you're drunk!
And you're ugly, but tomorrow I'll be sober.

If I were married to you, I’d poison your coffee.
If I were married to you, I’d drink it.

You're a bum, you're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last

I actually got told to stop calling people Muppets at work

Some of our staff were named after the muppets:
Divisional manager: Kermit
Deputy divisional manager: Fozzy
Engineering manager: Gonzo
Secretary: Miss Piggy

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Oh so tempting, as we have all of these muppets

The ‘Limousine’ tells people he does that, but is generally not to be found, or has gone for a walk out of the way
Then castigates everyone else for not doing anything

 

[SpokeyDokey]

I actually got told to stop calling people Muppets at work
Whether the Manager had fond childhood memories of Jim Hensons creations, l have no idea, & she didn’t want to see them slandered?

Quite right too.

Kermit is one of the great modern philosophers and shouldn't be associated with any term that is used as an insult.

 

[Alex321]

I'd call you a w*nker, but that would imply you could actually find your c*ck.

 

[presta]

Oh so tempting, as we have all of these muppets

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The ‘Limousine’ tells people he does that, but is generally not to be found, or has gone for a walk out of the way
Then castigates everyone else for not doing anything

Battleship - head full of sh!t.

 

[slow horse]

Kermit is one of the great modern philosophers

"It's not easy being green" was indeed my introduction to philosophy as a child.

 

[Tenkaykev]

I thought I saw your name printed on the shelf in the bakery department, but as I got closer I realised it said " Thick Cut "

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Thou art a maggot writhing in the dungheap of humanity.

 

[Cavalol]

'I came here for a battle of wits, but I don't fight unarmed men'