Crossing the language barrier

[Garry A]

On recent trips to Poland the wife and I learned some useful phrases. The problem was we sounded 'too Polish' and the waitresses began talking in really fast Polish. "Uh sorry, understand English?"

 

[JtB]

I found a taxi at the Pontevedra bus station and waved the address of this Spanish girl at the taxi driver - luckily he knew where it was and he took me straight there. Now when I'd visited Pontevedra for the day 2 years previously with my Panamanian friend we'd walked this Spanish girl back to her mother's apartment block so I had a vague recollection of what it looked like. Unfortunately it looked nothing like the place I was standing right now which was a narrow cobblestone row of shops. Then panic entered my mind that maybe I'd been writing to the wrong girl for 2 years because there had been another girl in the group that day. But then I thought to myself that it was the girl I'd been writing to for 2 years that I'd grown to "like" regardless of who she was and so I made my way to the end of the street where I waved the address at a lady in one of the shops. All of a sudden there was such a commotion as this lady and several of her friends all talking and laughing dragged me to the other end of the street and pushed me into this shop where I saw standing behind the counter the girl I'd remembered from 2 years ago but even more lovely. It was at this point I suddenly thought - I don't know a single word I can say to her.

I later found out that the lady who had guided me (along with all her laughing friends) to my final destination was the owner of the local flower shop, and it just so happened that it was her who had delivered my (Interflora) flowers and message the day before, so she already knew who I was.

Surely there is a "happy ever after" ???

To cut a long story short, within a week we had evolved a language that enabled us to communicate that was based on Spanish construction in the "present tense" combined with vocabulary worked out from the Latin / technological connections between English and Spanish. It was a language that nobody else could understand, so my new Spanish girlfriend would need to translate what other people said for me and she would also need to translate what I said for other people. A few of weeks later I asked her to marry me and a Google translation of the exact words I used is “me your houses”.

Anyway, whatever she understood she said “Si” and a few months later we were married. But that was not without its own language issues because I was still not able to speak Spanish when we got married, but for some reason I thought all I’d have to do was turn up at the church and say “Si”. How wrong could I have been, because half way through the ceremony the priest stopped talking and everyone was looking at me expecting me to repeat the long oath the priest had just quoted of which I understood absolutely nothing. So I started replaying and repeating everything I thought I’d just heard and the longer I spoke the more I messed it up until the point when my (to be) wife just burst out laughing with nerves. Apparently instead of "offering her some coins as a sign of my love" I’d just told her that "instead of my love I was going to give her some ammunition". The priest just looked at me with his mouth hanging open then looked at my (to be) wife with a look of sympathy as if to ask whether she really wanted to go ahead with it. He then took things one word at a time until finally pronouncing us married.

There have been many language issues since, one in particular which was so embarrassing that we have never spoken about to anyone. However next year we shall be celebrating our 35th anniversary, and with the departure of our 2 lovely grown sons from the nest we are now reverting back to how we were all those years ago as a young couple.

 

[Dave7]

To cut a long story short, within a week we had evolved a language that enabled us to communicate that was based on Spanish construction in the "present tense" combined with vocabulary worked out from the Latin / technological connections between English and Spanish. It was a language that nobody else could understand, so my new Spanish girlfriend would need to translate what other people said for me and she would also need to translate what I said for other people. A few of weeks later I asked her to marry me and a Google translation of the exact words I used is “me your houses”.

Anyway, whatever she understood she said “Si” and a few months later we were married. But that was not without its own language issues because I was still not able to speak Spanish when we got married, but for some reason I thought all I’d have to do was turn up at the church and say “Si”. How wrong could I have been, because half way through the ceremony the priest stopped talking and everyone was looking at me expecting me to repeat the long oath the priest had just quoted of which I understood absolutely nothing. So I started replaying and repeating everything I thought I’d just heard and the longer I spoke the more I messed it up until the point when my (to be) wife just burst out laughing with nerves. Apparently instead of "offering her some coins as a sign of my love" I’d just told her that "instead of my love I was going to give her some ammunition". The priest just looked at me with his mouth hanging open then looked at my (to be) wife with a look of sympathy as if to ask whether she really wanted to go ahead with it. He then took things one word at a time until finally pronouncing us married.
View attachment 421624

There have been many language issues since, one in particular which was so embarrassing that we have never spoken about to anyone. However next year we shall be celebrating our 35th anniversary, and with the departure of our 2 lovely grown sons from the nest we are now reverting back to how we were all those years ago as a young couple.

Well that is a wonderful story. Good on the both of you.....give my best to your good wife.

 

[Tin Pot]

To cut a long story short, within a week we had evolved a language that enabled us to communicate that was based on Spanish construction in the "present tense" combined with vocabulary worked out from the Latin / technological connections between English and Spanish. It was a language that nobody else could understand, so my new Spanish girlfriend would need to translate what other people said for me and she would also need to translate what I said for other people. A few of weeks later I asked her to marry me and a Google translation of the exact words I used is “me your houses”.

Anyway, whatever she understood she said “Si” and a few months later we were married. But that was not without its own language issues because I was still not able to speak Spanish when we got married, but for some reason I thought all I’d have to do was turn up at the church and say “Si”. How wrong could I have been, because half way through the ceremony the priest stopped talking and everyone was looking at me expecting me to repeat the long oath the priest had just quoted of which I understood absolutely nothing. So I started replaying and repeating everything I thought I’d just heard and the longer I spoke the more I messed it up until the point when my (to be) wife just burst out laughing with nerves. Apparently instead of "offering her some coins as a sign of my love" I’d just told her that "instead of my love I was going to give her some ammunition". The priest just looked at me with his mouth hanging open then looked at my (to be) wife with a look of sympathy as if to ask whether she really wanted to go ahead with it. He then took things one word at a time until finally pronouncing us married.
View attachment 421624

There have been many language issues since, one in particular which was so embarrassing that we have never spoken about to anyone. However next year we shall be celebrating our 35th anniversary, and with the departure of our 2 lovely grown sons from the nest we are now reverting back to how we were all those years ago as a young couple.

Love it.

 

[arranandy]

Another was a day trip to Frankfurt for work, and I needed to get a train back to the airport. I didn't speak German but had spotted on signs that "flughaven" was airport, so I went up to the ticket booth and said "flughaven bitte" feeling pleased with myself. The ticket lady, in perfect English replied "to get to the airport you need to buy a ticket from that machine over there. You will need 5 marks in coins. Would you like aome change" Fair play !

Similar things happen to me here in the Netherlands quite often. Ik spreek een beetje Nederlands so say in a café or restaurant I order in Dutch usually the waiter/waitress will reply in English. Must be my Scottish accented Dutch that is the giveaway

 

[Bazzer]

Many years ago the now Mrs B and I holidayed in German. I was a reasonable table tennis player at the time and as Mrs B got into playing it whilst we were away, we decided she should buy her own table tennis bat. Her O level German had largely been forgotten and I had a smattering of conversational German. It was only when we were faced with the surprised looks of the shop owner when asking for a tischtennis fledermaus, we realised that table tennis bat did not literally translate and some acting by us, combined with a smattering of English from shop owner was required.

 

[DaveReading]

On a short break to Rome a few months ago, we stayed in a hotel just outside the centre. We had one of the few rooms that had a bath as well as the usual shower, and my wife decided she'd like a soak after a long day walking around the city.

Needless to say, the bath had no plug, so I bravely attempted to get one from reception using my beginners' Italian. I couldn't understand why the receptionist was rolling around laughing when I asked for one, until he patiently explained to me that I'd just told him our bathroom was missing ...

 

[GM]

On a family holiday in Greece I thought I was being smart by saying Good Morning to everyone I met in Greek. What I actually said was 'Calamari' instead of 'Kalimera'.

 

[Moodyman]

Saturday morning in a French railway station cafe. It was the only place open locally (at the weekend) for us to fuel up ahead of the day's riding.

Whilst we were discussing and planning Sunday's ride, one of the guys asks one of the waitresses: "Madame, a quelle heure ouvrir le cafe?"

To which the waitress replies: "The first train runs 7am and we open at 6am to allow the travellers to pick refreshments".

We were stunned into silence. She was an expat from the Midlands.

 

[Moodyman]

I did a bit of French with my uni course and also have basic grasp of Italian as I spent a few years working with Italians.

I found myself using both languages interchangeably on our family holiday to Spain last year. Not sure why the Spaniards looked at me dumfounded.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

First trip to Spain, very first try at Spanish in a cafe -

"Hola. Puedo tomar un cafe negro por favor."

The waitress barely looked up and, cigarette still in mouth replied in broad Glaswegian -

"A black coffee, aye? "

 

[bruce1530]

One day I was asked to help a chap out - he couldn’t get connected to the wifi network.

He was Chinese and spoke virtually no English - even so, his English was far better than my Chinese!

Eventually, through a mutually shared language (“Wifi”, pointing, and thumbs up and down signals), I got him to log into his laptop. Which was of course also in Chinese.

Solution was two laptops, side by side, one English, one chinese, and perform the same clicks on each to work through the menus and options

 

[Serge]

To cut a long story short, within a week we had evolved a language that enabled us to communicate that was based on Spanish construction in the "present tense" combined with vocabulary worked out from the Latin / technological connections between English and Spanish. It was a language that nobody else could understand, so my new Spanish girlfriend would need to translate what other people said for me and she would also need to translate what I said for other people. A few of weeks later I asked her to marry me and a Google translation of the exact words I used is “me your houses”.

Anyway, whatever she understood she said “Si” and a few months later we were married. But that was not without its own language issues because I was still not able to speak Spanish when we got married, but for some reason I thought all I’d have to do was turn up at the church and say “Si”. How wrong could I have been, because half way through the ceremony the priest stopped talking and everyone was looking at me expecting me to repeat the long oath the priest had just quoted of which I understood absolutely nothing. So I started replaying and repeating everything I thought I’d just heard and the longer I spoke the more I messed it up until the point when my (to be) wife just burst out laughing with nerves. Apparently instead of "offering her some coins as a sign of my love" I’d just told her that "instead of my love I was going to give her some ammunition". The priest just looked at me with his mouth hanging open then looked at my (to be) wife with a look of sympathy as if to ask whether she really wanted to go ahead with it. He then took things one word at a time until finally pronouncing us married.
View attachment 421624

There have been many language issues since, one in particular which was so embarrassing that we have never spoken about to anyone. However next year we shall be celebrating our 35th anniversary, and with the departure of our 2 lovely grown sons from the nest we are now reverting back to how we were all those years ago as a young couple.

That's a wonderful story. I think Richard Curtis should snap up the film rights at the earliest opportunity.

 

[Andy in Germany]

My first months here were very frustrating. I took every opportunity to practice German, bearing in mind all I had was GCSE German and that doesn't really prepare you for the reality of speaking a language. I'd walk up and down outside the railway station, then go in and ask "Wann fährt die nächste bahn nach Stuttgart?". They'd look at me and say "In half an hour from platform three. Your German isn't bad for a American..."

Then after about six months people started answering in German and I knew I was getting there...

 

[Julia9054]

tischtennis fledermaus

My new electropop band name!