My father died a week ago from the virus. I thought I would give a rough description of his last week weeks.
Around the 1st day he was feeling a little run-down, with a percussive double-cough which he couldn't suppress.
In three days he was suffering pretty much the onset of a fairly bad bout of the flu. He had managed to cough less, but had sore throats, bad tummy trouble. His sense of taste was fading fast away.
By the 7th day he was pretty much floored. All google searching and emails stopped then. At night he was sweating blankets sodden. He had lost his appetite and couldn't swallow or drink enough calories. That lasted three nights.
We got excited because he hadn't had a super sweaty night. He even claimed he thought he could taste the coffee a bit better. At this point my mother improved, but dad worsened.
He had taken to controlling his breathing to suppress what he thought would be exhausting coughs. I suspect this was him having trouble breathing, but he believed he was managing his recovery. But all evidence suggests he was struggling more than he was letting on, reading his flamboyant writing, now a scrawl.
However he started to have cognitive difficulties due to a dropping spO2 level. He went to the Out of Hours on the 12th day.
We thought he was saved. He perked up immediately. But the virus was doing its thing, destroying his lungs initially.
Oxygen mask -> CPAP Machine -> Ventilator.
Following that was two weeks of decline, some improvement, some more decline.
Kidneys failed first, and dialysis was unreliable due to clotting and fluid issues. Then heart had problems due to fluids and electrolyte problems.
They got over most of that, but the damage didn't really come under control and he was lost to us on the 30th day, despite the best possible care.
He was flying about the place two weeks prior to getting sick, and he probably caught it trying to get the loo rolls everyone thought they were missing out on. A man who was utterly full of mischief, and fun - chasing his grandchildren on long walks over Christmas.
And what an education on grief.
I couldn't comfort my mum in person during her recovery. By the time I was able to visit, he was two days from death. If she had held his hand during his final moments which is a privilege she was offered having contracted it at the same time , she'd have had to see out two more weeks of quarantine without hugs and support she so much required. They sent the sad evidence on the NHS system, after 4 days of pictures of him looking great on a ventilator, but sadly he wasn't making the recovery we so desperately needed.
And as for the funeral - understated for such a loved and flamboyant man. His eldest son unable to attend from overseas. Me managing the affairs as best I can.
I think this is the longest I have been without crying.
I never understood grief before. I have felt loss, I have understood other's pain when I have seen it in a very superficial way, I now see. I didn't know pain like this in my blessed life so far.
Please stay safe. This virus doesn't really care. I think it shaved at least ten good years and however many bad off that man's life.
Thank you to the NHS team in Lanarkshire for doing an incredible job, at this unreal time. God bless them all.
I will adhere to it when it becomes a rule, or even shorter times if they become a rule.
