Bonj!

[alecstilleyedye]

As I am stuck on a very late running train, I have taken the liberty of writing your first day's entry.

Bonj's Blog...

7:00 Wake up feeling a bit groggy after a long night battling away on Barry Boys and other stupid car forums. A definite success as I have been banned by two of them. Who cares, I’ll start again tonight with new logins.

7:15 Down two big bowls of frosties, happily thinking about those Guardian reading types who are still trying to gnaw their way through a few spoonfuls of their muesli.

7:30 Brush teeth. Am reminded again about the crap design of most toothbrushes. Memo to self…must see if there is a Toothbrush Designers Forum I can go on to shake things up.

7:40 Look for warm top as it is a bit cool this morning and spot the Aldi gillett that some moron gave me. Decide I’d rather go cold than wear that thing, but fire off another email to the Aldi chairman reminding him just how shite all his cycle clothing is.

8:00 Cycle to work past the usual stream of so called cyclists riding absolute shitters. Couldn’t believe it, one woman was actually on an old sit-up-and-beg bike with a wicker basket – doesn’t she realise this is the 21st Century not the1930s.

9:00 Arrive at work to find someone else’s bike chained to the cycle rack I normally use. It’s some 1980’s steel touring monstrosity which not only has mudguards, but toe clips as well.

9:30 Finish clearing the mud off the back of my jacket. This wouldn’t have been necessary if I hadn’t been slowed down by those so called cyclists on their shite bikes.

9:35 Send email to the whole office demanding to know who took my cycle rack. For good measure I point out that any serious cyclist would be embarrassed to be riding round on an antique like that.

9:40 Summoned into my bosses office. Turns out he is on some sort of health kick and has just got his old bike out of the shed to ride to work on. He seems to have even less of a sense of humour than some of those characters on Cycle Chat.

9:45-17:00 Try to look like I’m working while spending the day calculating how much time I can knock of my commute by investing in a better combination of shoes, pedals and wheels. Conclude that by investing £650 in better gear I should be able to knock at least a second off my normal time and outrun any muck thrown up by my rear wheel.. Well worth it if you think how much it will save on washing during a year.

17:00 Cycle home past the usual stream of so called cyclists riding absolute shitters. Must write to the Council again demanding that they provide separate lanes for serious cyclists, or better still pass a byelaw prohibiting people with shite bikes and Bromptons from being on the road during rush hour.

18:00 Put muddy jacket in wash, and order new wheels, pedals and shoes.

19:00 Fire up my computer in preparation for another night’s battling on assorted internet forums. Most of these characters are really touchy so should have a happy evening in. If I get bored I can always wind up Mr Paul and Mickle – getting them going is as easy as taking candy from a baby.

genius

 

[Dave5N]

And day 2?

 

[alecstilleyedye]

i'd love to know how he gets on contacting the chairman of aldi…

 

[bonj2]

Blogs are supposed to be collaborative, so I invite others to add to it. Or indeed create blog entries for other leading CC members.

the advantage about a blog is that you can post comments, but I get to moderate them, so if I dont like your opinion then i can delete it.
my blog is going to be called 'diary of a cycling autocrat'. Because, i consider am an autocrat of cycling. You're perfectly free to disagree with me,but your opinions may very well be wrong.

 

[mickle]

As I am stuck on a very late running train, I have taken the liberty of writing your first day's entry.

Bonj's Blog...

7:00 Wake up feeling a bit groggy after a long night battling away on Barry Boys and other stupid car forums. A definite success as I have been banned by two of them. Who cares, I’ll start again tonight with new logins.

7:15 Down two big bowls of frosties, happily thinking about those Guardian reading types who are still trying to gnaw their way through a few spoonfuls of their muesli.

7:30 Brush teeth. Am reminded again about the crap design of most toothbrushes. Memo to self…must see if there is a Toothbrush Designers Forum I can go on to shake things up.

7:40 Look for warm top as it is a bit cool this morning and spot the Aldi gillett that some moron gave me. Decide I’d rather go cold than wear that thing, but fire off another email to the Aldi chairman reminding him just how shite all his cycle clothing is.

8:00 Cycle to work past the usual stream of so called cyclists riding absolute shitters. Couldn’t believe it, one woman was actually on an old sit-up-and-beg bike with a wicker basket – doesn’t she realise this is the 21st Century not the1930s.

9:00 Arrive at work to find someone else’s bike chained to the cycle rack I normally use. It’s some 1980’s steel touring monstrosity which not only has mudguards, but toe clips as well.

9:30 Finish clearing the mud off the back of my jacket. This wouldn’t have been necessary if I hadn’t been slowed down by those so called cyclists on their shite bikes.

9:35 Send email to the whole office demanding to know who took my cycle rack. For good measure I point out that any serious cyclist would be embarrassed to be riding round on an antique like that.

9:40 Summoned into my bosses office. Turns out he is on some sort of health kick and has just got his old bike out of the shed to ride to work on. He seems to have even less of a sense of humour than some of those characters on Cycle Chat.

9:45-17:00 Try to look like I’m working while spending the day calculating how much time I can knock of my commute by investing in a better combination of shoes, pedals and wheels. Conclude that by investing £650 in better gear I should be able to knock at least a second off my normal time and outrun any muck thrown up by my rear wheel.. Well worth it if you think how much it will save on washing during a year.

17:00 Cycle home past the usual stream of so called cyclists riding absolute shitters. Must write to the Council again demanding that they provide separate lanes for serious cyclists, or better still pass a byelaw prohibiting people with shite bikes and Bromptons from being on the road during rush hour.

18:00 Put muddy jacket in wash, and order new wheels, pedals and shoes.

19:00 Fire up my computer in preparation for another night’s battling on assorted internet forums. Most of these characters are really touchy so should have a happy evening in. If I get bored I can always wind up Mr Paul and Mickle – getting them going is as easy as taking candy from a baby.

SEEN rude boy!

 

[tdr1nka]

autocrat
1803, from Fr. autocrate, from Gk. autokrates "ruling by oneself," from autos- "self" (comb. form) + kratia "rule," from kratos "strength, power" (see -cracy). First used by Robert Southey, with reference to Napoleon.

 

[Joe24]

SEEN rude boy!

 

[Joe24]

the advantage about a blog is that you can post comments, but I get to moderate them, so if I dont like your opinion then i can delete it.
my blog is going to be called 'diary of a cycling autocrat'. Because, i consider am an autocrat of cycling. You're perfectly free to disagree with me,but your opinions may very well be wrong.

dont you just do that anyway, but you blank them instead of deleting them?

 

[Rhythm Thief]

Tell you what. I'm only going to ride one mile next year, but it's going to be a really good one.

That's roughly my approach to cycling these days.

 

[Dave5N]

Yebbut you gotta posh lorry to play with.

 

[Dave5N]

Innit.

 

[Abitrary]

I'm still unsure really whether having a brompton disqualifies flying monkey. Yesterday i thought 'obviously', but this morning i'm feeling a little more lenient.

I think still being a student at 47 years old disqualifies flying monkey from anything with the word 'serious' in front of it.

However, I myself sometimes imagine buying a brompton if I got an itch for a new bike, simply because it wouldn't take up much room i.e. I could put it in a cupboard.

 

[Dave5N]

Wouldn't have thought you had enough spare space in your closet for a bike,

Innit?

 

[Danny]

the advantage about a blog is that you can post comments, but I get to moderate them, so if I dont like your opinion then i can delete it.
my blog is going to be called 'diary of a cycling autocrat'. Because, i consider am an autocrat of cycling. You're perfectly free to disagree with me,but your opinions may very well be wrong.

Will I agree with your choice of name, it's very apt

 

[Arch]

Dannyg, that was excellent!