Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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ebikeerwidnes
Guru
- Location
- Z’ha’dum
mistyoptic
Vintage
- Location
- A parallel reality
FishFright
More wheels than sense
Proof!
They finally found water on Mars.
They finally found water on Mars.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
It's like the cure for seasickness - stand under a tree
Richard A Thackeray
Legendary Member
🦷 A YORKSHIREMAN walks into the dentist and asks how much it will cost to extract a tooth.
"You're looking at about £350" the dentist says.
"OW MUCH!!!" the Yorkshireman exclaims in disbelief 😲😲😲
"£350 to tek a chuffin tooth 'art! Int there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "If I don't use anaesthetic, I can probably do it for about £200. It'll be really painful though!" 😬
"I'm not arsed about how painful it'll be but that's still too expensive!" replies the Yorkshireman.
"Hmmm," says the dentist, scratching his head. "I could give Leeds Dental hospital a ring and they could probably send a student up to give it a go for some experience. I suppose in that case I could charge you £100." 🤔
"Nope," moans the yorkshireman, "it's still too much! I'm not med of money!" 🤷♂️
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I simply just rip the tooth out with a pair of pliers, I can do that for 50 quid?"
"Champion," says the Yorkshireman. "Book the wife in for next Tuesday!"
"You're looking at about £350" the dentist says.
"OW MUCH!!!" the Yorkshireman exclaims in disbelief 😲😲😲
"£350 to tek a chuffin tooth 'art! Int there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "If I don't use anaesthetic, I can probably do it for about £200. It'll be really painful though!" 😬
"I'm not arsed about how painful it'll be but that's still too expensive!" replies the Yorkshireman.
"Hmmm," says the dentist, scratching his head. "I could give Leeds Dental hospital a ring and they could probably send a student up to give it a go for some experience. I suppose in that case I could charge you £100." 🤔
"Nope," moans the yorkshireman, "it's still too much! I'm not med of money!" 🤷♂️
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I simply just rip the tooth out with a pair of pliers, I can do that for 50 quid?"
"Champion," says the Yorkshireman. "Book the wife in for next Tuesday!"
Alex321
Guru
- Location
- South Wales
Altar boy confessing.
An Italian altar boy goes to confession
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a frivolous girl.
The priest asked:
-Is that you, Luca Pagano?
-Yes, Father, it's me.
-And who is the girl you were with?
-I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.
-Well, Luca, I'm sure I'll find out her name sooner or later, so you should tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?
-I can't say.
-Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?
-I'll never say it.
-Was it Nina Capelli?
-I'm sorry, but I can't name her.
-Was it Cathy Piriano?
-My lips are sealed.
-So, was it Rosa Di Angelo?
-Please, Father, I can't tell you.
The priest sighs in frustration and says:
-You are very discreet, Luca Pagano, and I respect you for that, but you have sinned and you must do penance.
You won't be able to be an altar boy for the next four months.
Now go and behave yourself.
Luca returns to his post and his friend Franco approaches him and whispers:
-What did you get?
-Four months of vacation and the list of the bad girls of the parish!
PS This joke has no moral, but I hope it makes you smile. :-)
An Italian altar boy goes to confession
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a frivolous girl.
The priest asked:
-Is that you, Luca Pagano?
-Yes, Father, it's me.
-And who is the girl you were with?
-I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.
-Well, Luca, I'm sure I'll find out her name sooner or later, so you should tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?
-I can't say.
-Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?
-I'll never say it.
-Was it Nina Capelli?
-I'm sorry, but I can't name her.
-Was it Cathy Piriano?
-My lips are sealed.
-So, was it Rosa Di Angelo?
-Please, Father, I can't tell you.
The priest sighs in frustration and says:
-You are very discreet, Luca Pagano, and I respect you for that, but you have sinned and you must do penance.
You won't be able to be an altar boy for the next four months.
Now go and behave yourself.
Luca returns to his post and his friend Franco approaches him and whispers:
-What did you get?
-Four months of vacation and the list of the bad girls of the parish!
PS This joke has no moral, but I hope it makes you smile. :-)
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Supersuperleeds
Legendary Member
- Location
- Leicester
You need to fix it. Why would the priests reputation be a problem and when was a girl a he? (I know I know, self identifying and all that)
Smokin Joe
Squire
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
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