Any good jokes ... ?

[Dayvo]

 

[PaulB]

When l was a kid my Dad used to let me save my pocket money in a box under our stairs...
I was 15 before l found out it was an electric meter.

 

[bruce1530]

 

[PaulB]

View attachment 550641

I've sent him a card. Inside, I've written 'Stay Positive.'

 

[Cavalol]

Got some orange liqueur that keeps singing 'Devil Gate Drive' - it’s Suzi Cointreau.

 

[Cavalol]

I’m not exactly sure of the correct name for a baby squid, but I have an inkling.

 

[JtB]

I’m not exactly sure of the correct name for a baby squid, but I have an inkling.

Six quid says I know what a poorly one is called though.

 

[postman]

It seems Everton fans have been phoning Merseyside police all night.It appears next door neighbours in Liverpool have let seven in .

 

[screenman]

 

[Dayvo]

Being a Spurs fan I don't get the chance to gloat too often!

 

[Cavalol]

 

[Seevio]

Cashier: "That will be £19.99, sir."
Me: *Pulls out a £50 note*
Cashier: "I'm sorry sir, we've had a problem with fake notes. Do you have anything smaller?"
Me: *Pulls out a £25 note*

 

[Cavalol]

Phil Spector's brother Arsene was a noted proctologist.

 

[Cavalol]

I expect when Lulu dies they'll re-release her best-known song.

'Shout'?

I EXPECT WHEN LULU DIES THEY'LL RE-RELEASE HER BEST-KNOWN SONG.

 

[Cavalol]

I used to know a depressed cross eyed girl.

She never looked forward to anything.