mistyoptic
Vintage
- Location
- A parallel reality
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
Arjimlad
Tights of Cydonia
- Location
- South Glos
Last edited by a moderator:
Seevio
Guru
- Location
- South Glos
Last edited by a moderator:
Smokin Joe
Squire
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
A guy is out shooting ducks but having a terrible time. Four hours and he hasn't managed to hit a thing. Just before he goes home he takes one last shot, and bingo, he finally gets one.
The duck glides down and falls in the yard of a nearby farm. The guy goes up to the gate and is starting to climb over when the angry farmer appears. "What the hell are you doing, this is private property, get out" shouts the farmer.
The guy explains that he has just shot a duck which landed in the yard and he is just going to retrieve it.
The farmer replies, "I don't care if you did, this is my property and you can't come in here. In any case, if the duck landed here it is now mine, so clear off".
The guy insists it is his duck because he shot it and he won't leave without it. A furious debate follows till in the end the farmer says, "I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll kick each other in the bollocks and carry on doing it till one of us gives up, and the winner will keep the duck. The only condition is that I get first kick as we are on my land".
The guy thinks about it for a while and finally agrees as he really wants his duck. So he stands legs apart while the farmer aims a hefty kick between his legs. The pain is excruciating, he collapses screaming in agony and nearly passes out. It is an hour and a half before he is able to stand again, and another half hour before he has recovered enough to walk. He takes a few practice swings, feels ok and says to the farmer, "Ok, now it's my turn", getting ready to land the most powerful kick of his life.
The farmer says, "Forget it, you can have the duck".
The duck glides down and falls in the yard of a nearby farm. The guy goes up to the gate and is starting to climb over when the angry farmer appears. "What the hell are you doing, this is private property, get out" shouts the farmer.
The guy explains that he has just shot a duck which landed in the yard and he is just going to retrieve it.
The farmer replies, "I don't care if you did, this is my property and you can't come in here. In any case, if the duck landed here it is now mine, so clear off".
The guy insists it is his duck because he shot it and he won't leave without it. A furious debate follows till in the end the farmer says, "I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll kick each other in the bollocks and carry on doing it till one of us gives up, and the winner will keep the duck. The only condition is that I get first kick as we are on my land".
The guy thinks about it for a while and finally agrees as he really wants his duck. So he stands legs apart while the farmer aims a hefty kick between his legs. The pain is excruciating, he collapses screaming in agony and nearly passes out. It is an hour and a half before he is able to stand again, and another half hour before he has recovered enough to walk. He takes a few practice swings, feels ok and says to the farmer, "Ok, now it's my turn", getting ready to land the most powerful kick of his life.
The farmer says, "Forget it, you can have the duck".
betty swollocks
large member
First, I got a tattoo on my cervical that said '5'
Next, I got one on my thoracic that said '4'
Then, I got one on my lumbar that said '3'
After that, I got one on my sacrum that said '2'
And now, I'm getting one on my coccyx that says '1'
It's the spinal countdown.
Next, I got one on my thoracic that said '4'
Then, I got one on my lumbar that said '3'
After that, I got one on my sacrum that said '2'
And now, I'm getting one on my coccyx that says '1'
It's the spinal countdown.
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raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
I'm not asking where the '0' is.
