Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

I've just got a job in a circus on top of the human pyramid.
Unfortunately, one of our Russian acrobats has been deported......
so we don't have Oleg to stand on.

 

[Dirk]

Did you know that the actor, Yul Brynner, was a lifelong Liverpool fan and that he never used aftershave?
That's right.........Yul never wore Cologne.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

How do you think the unthinkable?

with an itheberg

 

[Cavalol]

I’ve just been fired from my job as a Sinatra lookalike.


Just not good enough, to be Frank.

 

[Cavalol]

View attachment 533485

Back in the day of being an unkind youth, we used to wait for the paperboy to deliver the Sunday news, then as he was pushing it through the letterbox one of us would pull it as hard as possible and make him head butt the door.

 

[Arjimlad]

Back in the day of being an unkind youth, we used to wait for the paperboy to deliver the Sunday news, then as he was pushing it through the letterbox one of us would pull it as hard as possible and make him head butt the door.

Flipside of that... I used to deliver the free newspapers. There was one house with a polished hallway and an excitable cocker spaniel. I'd sneak up, open the letterbox very cautiously and when the dog started skittering its way towards me, barking its tits off, I would wang the newspaper across the hallway & intercept the rowdy woofer !

 

[raleighnut]

Back in the day of being an unkind youth, we used to wait for the paperboy to deliver the Sunday news, then as he was pushing it through the letterbox one of us would pull it as hard as possible and make him head butt the door.

We had a dog to do that.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[colly]

Twenty minutes I stood there, twenty bloody minutes...

 

[Cavalol]

I surprised my wife by dressing up as a dog last night.

She nearly had a stroke.

 

[roley poley]

Twenty minutes I stood there, twenty bloody minutes...




















View attachment 533643

let me 'ave a go I'll pull the fag buts out and give it a squirt of wd40

 

[Seevio]

When ever I'm in trouble I think "What would Jesus do?"
Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

 

[PaulB]

The Greeks never got the hang of loading the dishwasher.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

It definitely has ties.