Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

 

[monkers]

With all this talk of viruses, and it being VE day today - was it VD day yesterday? Asking for a friend.

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

No. Don't get it. Can someone explain this joke please?

Likewise.

Folks, please don't hijack this thread for political commentary. There is a whole section for that kind of thing so take it over there.

Thanks.

 

[monkers]

News just in - teenagers in Scarborough have been seen injecting ecstacy between their front teeth. A spokesman for Yorkshire Police said 'ee by gum'.

 

[Chris S]

With all this talk of viruses, and it being VE day today - was it VD day yesterday? Asking for a friend.

Apparently VD day was the 9th May 1945.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

I've been having a recurring dream about horses.

It's been five nights on the trot.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

My wife says I'm no good at DIY jobs involving electricity.

Well, she's in for a shock.

 

[tyred]

Today someone knocked on my door and asked me for a donation for the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Scrawled on the back of a mucky van. "I wish my wife was as dirty as this." Underneath someone added "she is!"

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Matt Hancock wrapping up a Downing Street briefing:-

"I'd end with a coronavirus joke but it'd be two weeks before you got it."

 

[Arjimlad]

Fun fact of the day...
While Alan Turing was cracking codes in WW2, his sister Kay was providing drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues...

 

[Dayvo]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[monkers]

Scrawled on the back of a mucky van. "I wish my wife was as dirty as this." Underneath someone added "she is!"

I followed a dirty white van where some wag had drawn an addressed envelope with stamp, Queen's head etc all present. The address read ...

Miss Lucy Likes,
The Cockwell Inn,
Tillet,
Herts.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I followed a dirty white van where some wag had drawn an addressed envelope with stamp, Queen's head etc all present. The address read ...

Miss Lucy Likes,
The Cockwell Inn,
Tillet,
Herts.

I saw a dirty white lorry going up the M6. Scrawled through the dirt on the back was - “sshhh! Illegal immigrants sleeping”. Made me smile anyway.