Any good jokes ... ?

[glasgowcyclist]

In Leeds we had Albert Van Hire.

Back in the ‘70s in Glasgow there used to be a place where you could rent old cars really cheaply.
It was called U-Hire A Heap.
(true)

 

[colly]

Back in the ‘70s in Glasgow there used to be a place where you could rent old cars really cheaply.
It was called U-Hire A Heap.
(true)

On a par with 'Duxass Roofing'
I used to see their pickup around Leeds 9 quite a lot some years ago.

 

[tyred]

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[PaulB]

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally passed the super glue. She's still not speaking to me.

 

[betty swollocks]

Yesterday my girlfriend and I had a massive argument. She screamed that I keep referencing dinosaurs in all our conversations.
Today she dumped me and departed the house in complete silence.
Just like the p in pterodactyl.

 

[colly]

I told you not to use bleach !

 

[colly]

 

[Cavalol]

Last week I bought an alarm clock made out of spuds.

It's ok, but it's driving me mad now as the alarm keeps getting me up potato clock.

 

[Cavalol]

Just failed my ventriloquist exams - I can't say I'm surprised.

 

[Cavalol]

Ever tried to 'Google' Del Amitri? I did, but nothing ever happens.

Nothing happens at all.

 

[EltonFrog]

Ever tried to 'Google' Del Amitri? I did, but nothing ever happens.

Nothing happens at all.

Ahem! 25th Jan 2019

Ever tried to 'Google' Del Amitri? I did, but nothing ever happens.

Nothing happens at all.

 

[Cavalol]

Ahem! 25th Jan 2019

Terrible thing old age. Sorry

 

[Cavalol]

Convince people you have become a bishop by only moving diagonally.

 

[CharlesF]

To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you.

I have contacts.