Any good jokes ... ?

[Dave7]

I was talking to someone the other day who admitted buying pre-cooked mashed potato. WTAF as they say?

TBF..........sometimes it cheaper than buying and preparing things yourself. We buy (some brands of) frozen chips when on offer and they are definitely cheaper than chopping own spuds to do them.

 

[swee'pea99]

"What's green and has eight wheels?"

Grass…..I lied about the wheels.

What's green and can kill you if it falls out of a tree?


A snooker table.

 

[raleighnut]

What's Green and deadly,

Shark infested Custard that has gone 'off'

 

[Dayvo]

 

[betty swollocks]

I tend not to make many philosophy puns.
It's because it's such a Nietzsche market.

 

[raleighnut]

I tend not to make many philosophy puns.
It's because it's such a Nietzsche market.

Kant agree more

 

[slow scot]

Kant agree more

Oh, this is fun! Let's Russell up some more.

 

[Chromatic]

.

Oh, this is fun! Let's Russell up some more.

Yes, the opportunity has been handed to us on a Plato

 

[raleighnut]

View: https://youtu.be/l9SqQNgDrgg

 

[Cavalol]

Did anybody hear the one about the lad who tied his own shoes using the power of his mind? Thought knot.

 

[AndyRM]

View: https://twitter.com/govindajeggy/status/1200031438009176070?s=19

 

[Cavalol]

I went to my doctor and told him that every time I see a biro lid, I get all sad and tearful. "Tell me, "he replied," How long have you had these pen top emotions?"

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[Justinitus]

Went to see my doctor yesterday and he said I’m addicted to brake fluid.

Rubbish! I know I can stop whenever I want.

 

[colly]