Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I just buried an ancient woolly pachyderm. It was a mammoth undertaking.

 

[betty swollocks]

I just buried an ancient woolly pachyderm. It was a mammoth undertaking.

You mastodon a lot of digging.

 

[betty swollocks]

John is married to Lorraine, but he cheats on her with Keeley.
Lorraine finds out and divorces John.
John is happy now and sings, "I can see Keeley now Lorraine has gone."

 

[CharlesF]

She sells sea shells by the sea shore...

Surely that's the worst possible place to try and sell shells?!

 

[Cavalol]

 

[morrisman]

My wife keeps taking photos of herself next to a boiling kettle! I think she's got selfie steam issues.

 

[colly]

I rang in to work this morning saying I couldn't make in today because the wind had blown leaves all over my car during night.

"So? Just wipe them off." said the boss.

"Well, they're still attached to the tree." I replied.

 

[Cavalol]

Cannibals once tried to eat Gladys Knight, but they choked on the Pips.

 

[betty swollocks]

I bought a Saab from Neil Diamond on eBay.
Swede car online.........

 

[PeteXXX]

They don't sell Lucozade in Boots, anymore..

It runs out of the lace holes

 

[betty swollocks]

Even though I've now retired, I occasionally work part time at my local museum.
They've just rung me to ask me work into the small hours moving their entire collection of suits of armour.
I hate knight shifts.

 

[PapaZita]

She sells sea shells by the sea shore...

Surely that's the worst possible place to try and sell shells?!

View: https://youtu.be/FeF1XtlXmqA

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

The police came round last night and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes.

My dogs don’t even have bikes.

 

[Lullabelle]

 

[Salty seadog]

View: https://youtu.be/FeF1XtlXmqA

Gotta love a bit of Finnemore.