Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

Big Chief Grey Wolf returned to his tribal village after travelling the world and decided the find a wife and settle down.
He approached the local matchmaker and enquired,
"What've you got on the books today?"
"I've got two, follow me," she replied.
Grey Wolf was led to an enclosure with two wigwams.
In the first he observed a beautiful young woman sitting on a large rug, which he immediately, because of his recent travels, recognised came from a large, bad-tempered African aquatic mammal.
Grey Wolf was enchanted, but keen not to make a hasty decision, he asked to see inside the second wigwam.
In there he saw two equally beautiful, but very young women sitting on separate rugs.
He was confused.
"I thought you said there were two?"
"There are: it's their mother. She couldn't come, so she sent her twin daughters along in her stead. You've seen how gorgeous they are, just imagine what she must be like!.......Well, what's the verdict?"
Grey Wolf paced to and fro for some while, rubbing his chin.
"To tell you the truth, I'm undecided: I can't make my mind up
because......
the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the mum of the squaws on the other two hides."

 

[Lullabelle]

 

[bruce1530]

View attachment 489684

That’s what’s known as doing your drying online.....

 

[Chris S]

What's black and gushes out of the ground shouting obscenities?
Crude oil.

 

[Cavalol]

My dad loves fishing in France. He often goes there on trips and spends all day sitting by a lake or river with his rods and nets.

It’s his one true poisson.

 

[Dayvo]

My dad loves fishing in France. He often goes there on trips and spends all day sitting by a lake or river with his rods and nets.

It’s his one true poisson.

Does he get péchéd a lot?

 

[Cavalol]

My girlfriend just threw 6 cricket balls at me.
'What was that for?' I asked.
"It's over" she replied.

 

[Salty seadog]

My girlfriend just threw 6 cricket balls at me.
'What was that for?' I asked.
"It's over" she replied.

🧐

 

[Dayvo]

My girlfriend just threw 6 cricket balls at me.
'What was that for?' I asked.
"It's over" she replied.

Good job she didn't hit you in the box, otherwise it'd would have been two no balls.

 

[Cavalol]

I was going to an audition for the part of Badger in a production of 'Wind In The Willows' last night, but my car broke down so I had to be Toad.

 

[Archie_tect]

🧐

Good job she didn't hit you in the box, otherwise it'd would have been two no balls.

Was it the first time she'd done it....

 

[Cavalol]

I’ve just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.


It started off badly but, by the end, I really liked it.

 

[Cavalol]

The last thing my grandad said to me before he dies was 'Pints, litres gallons'.

That spoke volumes.

 

[Smokin Joe]

 

[Cavalol]

Just had a row with my Spanish next door neighbour. He reckons I play my Madness records too loud.

Miguel’s mad at me.