betty swollocks
large member
I've just thought up a new colour.
Or was it just a pigment of my imagination?
Or was it just a pigment of my imagination?
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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betty swollocks
large member
Looks like they finally found him.
betty swollocks
large member
Q: What do you call a fat psychic?
A: A four-chin teller...
A: A four-chin teller...
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
LCpl Boiled Egg
Three word soundbite
What do you call a man with a plank of wood on his head?
Edward.
Edward.
LCpl Boiled Egg
Three word soundbite
What do you call a man with three planks of wood on his head?
Edward Woodward.
Edward Woodward.
LCpl Boiled Egg
Three word soundbite
What do you call a man with four planks of wood on his head?
I have no idea, but Edward Woodward would.
I have no idea, but Edward Woodward would.
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Just go and stand in the corner and think about what you've just done.....
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Not out-and-out funny, but it made me chuckle.
guitarpete247
Just about surviving
- Location
- Leicestershire
Sent to GF's youngest as he's a beer drinker. As a good Catholic he should hate it
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
Waiting between Bishop Stortford and Harlow, to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along the M11 motorway at 11MPH so he says to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seats and three in the back...wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...eleven miles an hour!" ....the old woman says a bit proudly.
The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that M11 is the road number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a sound this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We've just come off the A120."
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seats and three in the back...wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...eleven miles an hour!" ....the old woman says a bit proudly.
The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that M11 is the road number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a sound this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We've just come off the A120."
Salty seadog
Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
mistyoptic
Vintage
- Location
- A parallel reality
I've got CDO.
It's a bit like OCD but it's better because the letters are in alphabetical order
