Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Nibor
Bewildered
- Location
- Accrington
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting.
"I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely
terrible about it."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.
"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that
was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground
after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of
the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run
away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.
"Well, no. says the nun. You see, as the squirrel was running, an
eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons
and began to fly away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.
"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws"
, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the
sandtrap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from
the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment.
Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the ****ing
putt, didn't you?"
"I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely
terrible about it."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.
"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that
was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground
after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of
the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run
away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.
"Well, no. says the nun. You see, as the squirrel was running, an
eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons
and began to fly away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.
"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws"
, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the
sandtrap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from
the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment.
Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the ****ing
putt, didn't you?"
LCpl Boiled Egg
Three word soundbite
Call him anything you like, he'll be cool with it.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
very good !
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
A Short Gun Story
A guy walks into a crowded bar, waving his pistol around and yelling, "I have a Colt .45 with an eight shot clip and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"
A voice from the back of the room called out, "You're gonna need more ammo..."
A guy walks into a crowded bar, waving his pistol around and yelling, "I have a Colt .45 with an eight shot clip and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"
A voice from the back of the room called out, "You're gonna need more ammo..."
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
