Any good jokes ... ?

[PaulB]

For pity's sake, that's HAVE went! The days of people using proper English have went.

Says the man who know's how to use a bloody apostrpoeh!

 

[Cavalol]

My mate used to play guitar for ‘Hot Chocolate‘.



If he was really good he got a biscuit, too.

 

[Cavalol]

I walked past a hospital ward and heard the sound of Scottish poetry being recited.
What’s in there? I asked the Doc.

“The Burns Unit”

 

[further]

Stollen fro LFGSS

 

[PaulB]

I've just bought a new DeLorean. I'm only going to drive it from time to time.

 

[Threevok]

I've just bought a new DeLorean. I'm only going to drive it from time to time.

You must know that bloke who keeps shouting at me he pays road tax. He must have one of those too

 

[colly]

Had a few to many drinks earlier and drew up a graph of all the relationships l had ever had.

There was an ex axis and a why axis.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[EltonFrog]

My mate used to play guitar for ‘Hot Chocolate‘.



If he was really good he got a biscuit, too.

Everyone’s a winner!

 

[Cavalol]

Apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell. In a statement Julie said, "The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis'

 

[EltonFrog]

Apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell. In a statement Julie said, "The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis'

Thats very good.

 

[mrcunning]

Swallowed a pound coin,
went to doctor......ive got to go back tomorrow to see if theres any change

 

[morrisman]

Robin: "Batman, this is Robin, I'm calling on the batphone, from the batcave. The batmobile won't start!"

Batman: "Have you checked the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

 

[Salty seadog]

Robin: "Batman, this is Robin, I'm calling on the batphone, from the batcave. The batmobile won't start!"

Batman: "Have you checked the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

1st warning.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

A newlywed couple are on honeymoon at the Grand Canyon and they are taking a donkey ride through the canyon trails. While discovering the trails the wife's donkey completely halts and wont go further. The wife dismounts, grabs the donkeys chin, points her finger and proclaims, "First warning!"

She gets back on the donkey and continues her ride. A few minutes later the donkey attempts to lay down on the ground with the woman still on the donkeys back. The lady gets up pulls the donkeys reins looks it right in the eye and says, "Second warning!."

A little while down the trail the woman's donkey bucks in an attempt to kick the rider off. The woman gets off the animal, brandishes a revolver, puts it to the donkeys head and BANG! The donkey dies on the spot.

Her husband starts freaking out. He yells, "What the heck is the matter with you. We just killed someones donkey. Do you have any idea how much that costs? Are you out of your freaking mind?"

The woman looks her husband dead in the eye and says, "First warning!"