Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I'm not saying that my ex-wife has bad teeth, but she smiled in Tesco once and the barcode scanner thought she was a set of saucepans.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I've just bought some state of the art garden shears. They're the latest in cutting hedge technology.

 

[tribanjules]

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

That moment when you slide the condom on and look at yourself in the mirror with a raging erection.

Then you tell the chemist “I’ll take it”

 

[bruce1530]

We were just reminiscing about when I was young, my dad used to put me and my brother inside car tyres and roll us down the hill.

They were goodyears.....

 

[Cavalol]

Got one of those new £5 notes yesterday - and apparently they're supposed to last longer than the old ones.
What a load of rubbish. Two pasties, a cake and a bottle of coke and it was gone.

 

[further]

Blimey stuffs cheap in Chester, a pasty is £2.20 here

 

[Dayvo]

Got one of those new £5 notes yesterday - and apparently they're supposed to last longer than the old ones.
What a load of rubbish. Two pasties, a cake and a bottle of coke and it was gone.

Blimey stuffs cheap in Chester, a pasty is £2.20 here

It was an old joke!

 

[Dave7]

I read that Boy George is in trouble.
Apparently he keeps reptiles and one of them has bitten a neighbour.
The magistrate has ordered him to get a calmer chameleon.

 

[Cavalol]

If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

 

[Electric_Andy]

My wife said to me last night "you haven't listened to a single thing I've said have you?"

I thought, that's a funny way to start a conversation.

 

[Cavalol]

My Mrs went for a job home delivering Guacamole. She didn't get it, but to be fair to them she didn't avacado

 

[Threevok]

Things aren't looking good for my phobia of Frankfurters

I've started to fear the wurst

 

[subaqua]

I read that Boy George is in trouble.
Apparently he keeps reptiles and one of them has bitten a neighbour.
The magistrate has ordered him to get a calmer chameleon.

next time i see his brother , i am going to ask him that.