Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

 

[Hitchington]

I got very stressed out running my small camp site.

It was two tents.

 

[fossala]

You ever had sex while camping? It's f***ing intence.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend.

The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says, "That's odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.

They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians. The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said "That's odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian."

So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. The arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray. They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how the all returned as Christians."

There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "That's odd . . . "

 

[Cavalol]

Me and my mates played football earlier on a pitch surfaced with compacted rubble and broken bricks. We won 5-4 on aggregate.

 

[Chris S]

A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend.

The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says, "That's odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.

They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians. The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said "That's odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian."

So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. The arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray. They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how the all returned as Christians."

There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "That's odd . . . "

To quote Alf Garnett, "Jesus wasn't Jewish. Well, maybe he was a bit, but only on his mother's side"

 

[glasgowcyclist]

To the thieving git who stole my anti-depressants... I hope you're happy now.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

I was thinking of having a tattoo for my birthday, but I'm not keen on bagpipes, and I don't think our garden is big enough.

 

[Cavalol]

I'm having a party in a marquee tonight with music and a bar. I've trained my cat to serve the drinks, so I suppose you could say that Meow is the vintner of our disco tent.

 

[PaulSB]

I was thinking of having a tattoo for my birthday, but I'm not keen on bagpipes, and I don't think our garden is big enough.

BRILLIANT!!! Laughing hard at that one.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[sheddy]

I went to the Cambridge Rock Festival last weekend, but was rather disappointed.
No rocks, fossils or gems to be seen - just a load of bands playing very loud songs.

 

[Dayvo]

An OCD nightmare choice.