Any good jokes ... ?

[Dave7]

Nor me.
Do i need to speak Latin to get it ??

 

[AndyRM]

I did, it was just stercore.

Maybe a bit high brow for this thread.

I offer this as compensation:

 

[User33236]

I bought some fish from the supermarket today and, when I got home, I found out that all their insides were missing.

Gutted!

 

[NorthernDave]

Two parrots sat on a perch.

One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

 

[AndyRM]

Two parrots sat on a perch.

One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

Gloriously awful. Added to my ever growing bank of Dad Jokes to amuse my daughter with when she hits her teenage years and has friends round.

 

[Cavalol]

Two men were arrested for masturbating in my local newsagents. It was all over the papers...

That's probably the best joke this thread will ever see, absolutely brilliant.

 

[morrisman]

With it being St David's Day I would like to point out that the Welsh alphabet does not include the letter K.

But they seem O with it.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I phoned the drugs helpline and an automated voice said if you want information on cannabis,

press hash.

 

[Cavalol]

My mum and dad are midgets. All my life they've struggled to put food on the table.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[raleighnut]

Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows.

Same goes for Gas Engineers.

 

[morrisman]

Without doubt, Robin Williams best film was Mrs Fire.

 

[Cavalol]

Cliff Richard has broken both legs in an accident. It's not funny, why he can't walk anymore.

 

[Cavalol]

My wife has been working out a lot recently. For instance, today she worked out I've been sleeping with her sister.