Any good jokes ... ?

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

My absolute favourite 'crap joke'. Sorry I can't paste this in...

http://viz.co.uk/hat-shop-crap-joke/

 

[swee'pea99]

I have a feeling this is a repeat from way back when but what the hell...

What do we want?
A cure for Tourettes
When do we want it?
Daffodil!

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I saw my dad chopping up onions today. I cried.

Onions was a good dog.

 

[Andy_R]

I have a feeling this is a repeat from way back when but what the hell...

What do we want?
A cure for Tourettes
When do we want it?
Daffodil!

That was going to be my next one.......

 

[rich p]

When do we want it?

Next Tuesday?

 

[machew]

Albert Einstein was a genius but his brother Frank was a bit of a monster!

 

[machew]

I think there would have been less gunfights in the Wild West if they just made the towns bigger.

 

[mrandmrspoves]

Albert Einstein was a genius but his brother Frank was a bit of a monster!

The monster wasn't called Frankenstein it was called Frankenstein's Monster....the Dr was Frankenstein.


My wife and I got lost while driving in Yorkshire so I parked the car and went into a local shop and asked the shop keeper if he could tell me the best way to Skipton.
Will you be walking or driving he asked.
Driving I said.
Aye well that's the best way to get to Skipton he replied.

 

[Andrew_P]

 

[Andrew_P]

 

[TVC]

I suspect this may have come up before, but I'm not going to check 353 pages.

 

[benb]

The monster wasn't called Frankenstein it was called Frankenstein's Monster....the Dr was Frankenstein.

Ah, but in the source material, the creature considered Dr Frankenstein his father, so would have taken the same surname!

 

[Andy_R]

So a Scotsman goes on a skiing trip to Canada. After a hard day on the piste, he heads into a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After 5 or 6 whiskys he notices a stuffed animal head mounted on the wall.
"What he hell is that?" he asks the barman
"It's a Moose"
"Feck me!" he exclaims "How big are the bloody cats around here then?"

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Spoiler: Swearing

 

[betty swollocks]