TwickenhamCyclist
Guest
Dare not look... but is it anything to do with eating sushi of a barber shop floor?
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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- Location
- The TerrorVortex
That's not a euphemism I'd heard before.
JFGI. I'm not going there.
JFGI. I'm not going there.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Simple explanation of "Marketing":
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realise there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing, so you climb on the roof of one near the centre and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Facebook.
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realise there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing, so you climb on the roof of one near the centre and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Facebook.
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I'm Wayne Rooney, the best footballer in England and my team need me, I can't possibly die". So he took the 1st pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 2nd passenger said, "I'm Donald Trump the newly elected President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don't want me to die". So he took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger was the Pope, he said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute". The little boy said, "That's okay, your Holiness there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag".
The 2nd passenger said, "I'm Donald Trump the newly elected President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don't want me to die". So he took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger was the Pope, he said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute". The little boy said, "That's okay, your Holiness there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag".
Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
Not going to Google it, but I heard that on a Frank Carson tape back in the 80's.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
A man has been arrested and charged with murdering his wife, chopping up her body and distributing the parts around the countryside. He was rumbled when he was walking along the road and the bottom fell out of his carrier bag.
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r04DiE
300km a week through London on a road bike.
Remember to leave your CV in next door's garden
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Preferably in a puddleRemember to leave your CV in next door's garden
r04DiE
300km a week through London on a road bike.
Like a pro!
One got me out of the shower yesterday but I had to chase after her towel round waist in the bloody rain when I realised I'm not Mrs Parker and that wasn't my address!
Profpointy
Legendary Member
And that m'lud is the case for the defense
This isn't a joke BTW, it did actually happen!
roadrash
cycle chatterer
- Location
- sitting on the edge of wigan pier
