Any good jokes ... ?

[Alex H]

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 748719

There is a serious point there. Taper fittings which rely only on friction are extensively used for holding machine tooling. First time I came across it was on a big electric kango drill we were using to drill quite deep 1" diameter holes in rock, the drill bit was just held in by a tapered socket with nothing like a chuck or anything

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_taper

 

[tyred]

 

[BigSid]

Riding at 45mph

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

A young lad walks into the toilets at Heathrow Airport. Standing by the sink is an RAF fellow, in his ceremonial uniform. The little lad, all agog, takes a moment and then says;
"Wow! Are you in the RAF?!"
"Yes I am" came the reply, "Here, would you like to try my hat on?"
"Oh yes please" he replies and taking the hat he places it on his head and gazes into the mirror.
Just then, the door opens, and through a shining beam of light, in walks a man. But this was not just a man, he was more than a man. He was a Matelot!
The little boy turns and walks up to the Matelot. As he approached, he could see his reflection in his steaming boots. His little eyes widened as he took in the width of his chest, and the steely look in his eye. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath and said, "Excuse me Sir, Are you a Matelot?!"
The Matelot replied in a thunderous tone, "Well yes lad, and proud. Would you like to shine my boots?"
"Oh No" Replied the little boy, "I'm not really in the RAF, I'm just wearing his hat.

 

[Venod]

I walked by the house I grew up in the other day, so I asked if I could go in and take a look around.
They said no !
Parents can be so cruel.

 

[Profpointy]

I walked by the house I grew up in the other day, so I asked if I could go in and take a lock around.
They said no !
Parents can be so cruel.

Reminds me of the Emo Phillips gag ...

"When I was a little boy, my parents had one strict rule. I was never to open the cellar door. One day, when I was about 15 I disobeyed and opened the door and peeped through. I saw such wonders; marvellous things: trees, grass, flowers, sunlight ..."

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Just found out the real reason penguins can't fly...
They're not tall enough to be pilots.

 

[Cavalol]

Bought a First Aid today.

Thought I'd treat myself.

 

[Cavalol]

I saw the school crossing lady coming down the road this morning with a blank lollipop.

I had to put a stop it.

 

[tyred]

 

[srj10]

I wish I had bought my baked beans online.
Heinz site's a wonderful thing.

 

[srshultz]

For low IQ swimmers.

 

[Dave7]

I was wondering........ Before the Internet was here, what did our parents do to avoid getting bored.
I asked my 26 brothers and sisters but they didn't know either.

 

[Venod]

Don't shoot the messenger.