Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

Patient notes become legal documents so it’s not uncommon to see events written word for word if it involves a conversation. It could very well be true.

I work for a health insurance company and once saw a claim where the doctor's handwritten notes on the top said "Patient collided motorcycle with tree. Patient denied visual impairment. Patient denied exceeding highway speed limit. Patient denied consumption of alcohol!"

 

[tyred]

 

[Alex H]

 

[Alex H]

 

[screenman]

I once caught my son chewing on electrical wires.
So, I grounded him. He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

 

[tyred]

 

[Regular.Cyclist]

View attachment 747779

I have a photo of my office without my bike in it, and cycle clothing hanging up to dry (especially in winter), that I occasionally use in Teams meetings 😁

 

[PeteXXX]

Genie: Alright, 3 rules:

No wishing anyone dead.
No forced falling in love.
No bringing anyone back from the dead.

Me: I wish envelopes moaned when you licked them.

Genie: There are 4 rules.....

 

[markemark]

 

[welsh dragon]

Boss. Can you work this weekend?

Me. Yes but I will be late as public transport is rubbish at the weekend.

Boss. What time to you get here.

Me. Monday.

 

[Cavalol]

Anyone on here good with computers?

Just added an Andre Onana wallpaper, and now I can't save anything.

 

[postman]

Anyone on here good with computers?

Just added an Andre Onana wallpaper, and now I can't save anything.

Just reminded me of Good Morning Vietnam.Youre going straight to hell for that one.Ha ha.

 

[tyred]

 

[Dave7]

Went to the Docs yesterday. I told him.....
I have a sore throat
My ears are blocked
My nose is running
My eyes are sore
He told me there is nothing wrong, it's all in my head.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Went to the Docs yesterday. I told him.....
I have a sore throat
My ears are blocked
My nose is running
My eyes are sore
He told me there is nothing wrong, it's all in my head.

AT the end of the day everything is in your hear

if you have a metal rod through your leg then the pain is only felt in your head

I learned this when I was a teenager when my Dad slipped on some snow and made a big cut right down his leg from the knee to the ancle

Now - my Dad had serious spinal injuries from the war - so he had zero feeling lower than a certain point ( a bit higher and I wouldn;t exist - but neither would my jokes
anyway - he didn;t seem hurt but insisted we got him to his surgery (in the house - he was a Chiropodist)
when I got him there we discovered the cut and I helped him clean it up
he never flinched because he couldn't feel anything

very learning experience