Any good jokes ... ?

[Andy in Germany]

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I know that feeling.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Will glass coffins ever become popular?

Remains to be seen.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[oldwheels]

 

[kynikos]

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or, my favourite version...

 

[tyred]

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This is the version I heard originally.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[tyred]

 

[kynikos]

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At Uni (Dundee early 70s and yes I saw Hamish Imlach in concert a few times) we had a pal, aptly named Big Jimmie, who, whenever he came round to our flat and with no asking, ate us out of house and home. Scoffed the lot. Until the day we cleared everything out and bought a sliced loaf and a tin of kit-e-kat which we turned out of the tin and covered with a dish. True to form it all went.

As you might imagine, there were a few choice words spoken when we told him but he was a little more circumspect from that day on...

 

[srj10]

 

[rustybolts]

 

[Yellow Fang]

This was from a Martin Amis novel, The Information.
A mouse and a gorilla went out for a walk. Suddenly the gorilla fell down a hole. The mouse said, "Don't worry, I'll get the Porsche and pull you out." So he goes home, gets the Porche, gets a rope, throws it down to the gorilla, who ties it around his waist. The mouse ties the other end around the Porsche's bumper, puts it in reverse and pulls him out. Later when they resume their walk, the mouse falls down a hole. The gorilla says, "Don't worry," unzipping his fly. Just climb up my willy. And the moral of the story is if you have a big **** you don't need a Porsche.

 

[tyred]

 

[rustybolts]

 

[Cavalol]

I've just had an argument with Spandau Ballet about what's the only city in Cornwall. They say I'm ignorant and don't know what I'm on about.

I know this much. It's Truro.