Any good jokes ... ?

[Tribansman]

I once saved Meatloaf's life in a restaurant, as he was choking on a piece of German sausage.

I took the wurst right out of his mouth.......

Good job he wasn't also choking on a bit of Limburger. That would have been the wurst käse scenario

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[craigwend]

 

[JtB]

My grandson is four years old and already learning Spanish.
He had his first test this week and only scored 10%.
I thought.........
"that's poor for four"

I’m guessing this joke probably started life as something like:
My grandson is four years old and learning Spanish but he doesn’t even know the Spanish for “please”, which I think is poor for four.

Recycling another joke from earlier in this thread:
I’ve been saying mucho to a Spanish friend recently. It means a lot to him.

 

[tyred]

 

[PeteXXX]

Todays handy tip:

Don't use Viagra if you're also taking an iron supplement.
You'll spend several hours facing north..

 

[PeteXXX]

Insomnia is awful.

On the plus side... Only three more sleeps until Christmas. 🎅

 

[tyred]

 

[morrisman]

Did my bit this morning at the London Marathon, managed 4 hours, 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Had to turn over then as there was a repeat of Countryfile I wanted to watch...

 

[Jameshow]

Stallone: I’m making a movie about composers. I’m playing Vivaldi.
VanDamme: I’ll be Mozart.

Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys, I’m not saying it

 

[Smokin Joe]

Did my bit this morning at the London Marathon, managed 4 hours, 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Had to turn over then as there was a repeat of Countryfile I wanted to watch...

I did a marathon some years back.

It tasted lovely.

 

[Chris S]

 

[Seevio]

Who's turn was it to wake up Green Day this year? I forgot when it was my go and they didn't play any gigs until Christmas.