Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Dave7]

Due to cutbacks the company that makes 30cm rulers has said it is not making them any longer.

 

[mistyoptic]

“My buddy’s a vegan, very sensitive guy. I’m always walking on eggshells around him, he really hates that…”

 

[tyred]

 

[PeteXXX]

As a mortician, I always tie the shoelaces together of the dead.
Because if there is ever a zombie apocalypse, it will be hilarious.

 

[Seevio]

I completely misunderstood pride month. Anyone know anybody who wants to buy 15 lions?

 

[Dave7]

I went to buy a beanie hat.
The guy tried to sell me one that was 3 sizes too big.
I thought "he's not pulling the wool over my eyes".

 

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

I was just thinking, Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now surely?

 

[PaulSB]

I was just thinking, Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now surely?

Had to think for a few seconds. 🤣🤣🤣

 

[PeteXXX]

Best Glastonbury flag...

 

[srj10]

Lost my job as a dermatologist, I was making too many rash decisions.

 

[tyred]

 

[Speicher]

Lost my job as a dermatologist, I was making too many rash decisions.

Are you itching to get a new job?

 

[Sterlo]

Are you itching to get a new job?

No, just scratching the surface